Out Go The Chairs / Happiness

[Patricia Nixon (Pat)]
In
Out
In

[Julie Nixon]
Mother, what should we do?

[Pat]
What’s it like out now?

[Julie]
It’s not really raining
It's not really not raining

[Pat]
Oh dear

[Julie]
Trish is out of her mind

[Pat]
She’s nervous

[Julie]
She’s out of her mind
She had to have her wedding here
There, outside
I tried to warn her
She never listens to me

[Pat]
It’s what she wanted

[Julie]
She never listens to me

[Pat]
She’s your older sister
She doesn’t have to listen to you

[Julie]
I give up
It’s all so crappy

[Pat]
You know I don’t like that word, Julie

[Julie]
Well, it is

[Pat]
Oh dear

[Julie]
In come the chairs and
Out go the chairs
First the sky starts to clear
Then the clouds reappear
So in come the chairs
And the military staff is going batty
You know that they can’t wait until this
Whole to-do is done
The ushers and the maids are getting catty
The guests are in a funk
It’s true
And Kissinger is drunk
What's new?
Outside or in?
The appointed time is nearing
Look, a drop of rain
Oh no wait, it’s clearing
So out go the chairs then
In come the chairs
Someone has to decide
But don’t count on the bride
And the groom can’t even act like he cares
A White House wedding
How romantic, you'd think
But a White House wedding is like
Planning an invasion plus
Landing on the moon
Nothing can be left to chance
Do it right and soon
The whole thing will be over but
First you must be smart
You need strategies, alternatives and
Wherewithal and leadership
Before it falls apart
Yet out go the chairs and
In come the chairs
Back and forth, to and fro
Do we stay, do we go?
In or out with the chairs?
No one asks, no one dares
A White House wedding needs a
Captain or a general
A leader like a president
No one knows what to do
Mother, everyone’s counting on you

[Pat]
Oh dear

[Julie]
Is that all you can say?

[Pat]
What’s the latest weather report?

[Julie]
A break in the clouds in fifteen minutes

[Pat]
Tell the chief usher

[Julie]
Take out the chairs

[Pat]
Take out the chairs

[Hannah Milhous Nixon]
Vanity
Thee raised thine girls to be
Vane and shallow
Weak and fallow

[Pat]
They’re good girls

[Hannah]
Vanity
All is vanity

[Pat]
Go away, Hannah

[Hannah]
I would prefer thee call me Mother

[Pat]
I prefer thee to leave me alone today

[Hannah]
Thee would prefer me to haunt Richard instead?

[Pat]
You’re his mother, not mine
And I'd prefer you to not bother Dick either
He's a lot on his mind

[Hannah]
Of all my boys, even the two dead ones
Richard was the greatest disappointment
In spite of his exalted position
He knows what is the right thing
But is attracted to the wrong

[Pat]
That’s not true

[Hannah]
He want’s what he cannot have

[Pat]
That is true

[Hannah]
What do thee want, Thelma?

[Pat]
Patricia
You know I changed my name years ago
Patricia
It's prettier than Thelma

[Hannah]
Vanity
What do thee want, Patricia?

[Pat]
Just a moment
Happiness
For just a second
Happiness
No rain, not a drop
If I had the power, I’d will the rain to stop
If for a minute
Happiness
One single hour
Happiness
All the worried thoughts inside my head disappear
All the mottled skies that threaten grief, make them clear
Go away
Go away
Give me an hour
Or just a minute
I’ll take a second
Less than a second
A precious moment of
Happiness