Only One Bum In Corona Del Mar

Once upon a time, in a little kingdom by the Pacific Ocean, the villagers could always be heard singing merrily as they slathered on suntan lotion

Corona Del Mar, crown of the sea
We nobles agree just how lucky we are
Plenty of plenty for you and for me
And there's only one bum in Corona Del Mar

Nary a sin on our lily white skin, just a tan and this one tiny scar
Prince, princess and queens, kings, gods and czars, and only one bum in Corona Del Mar. (only one bum in Corona Del Mar)

The deli gives him free sandwiches; he stops there 'bout three times a week
Then he'll shimmy behind dolphin-shaped hedges where he likes to take a leak
Sometimes we'll hand him coffee, money or religious tracts, or, at a distance, speak a kind word
And he'll grin, and then behind our backs he'll discreetly flip us the bird

Corona Del Mar, crown of the sea
We nobles agree just how lucky we are
Plenty of plenty for you and for me
And there's only one bum in Corona Del Mar

Nary a stain on our regal robe's train, 'cept him and that thing in his jar
Down at the park, our land-loving shark
There's only one bum in Corona Del Mar. (only one bum in Corona Del Mar)

Down at one local park bench, under a blanket called "Home" the rain falling hard now, but I assure you he's never alone
He's always got an invisible buddy there; they speak to each other in tongues
Once I think I heard them muttering, calling all of us "stinking C.D.M. bums."

Corona Del Mar, crown of the sea
We nobles agree just how lucky we are
Plenty of plenty for you and for me
And there's only one bum in Corona Del Mar

Nary a flaw in our high castle wall, just one crack that's lowered the bar, one fly in our caviar
Is that Stacy Keech passed out on the beach?
No, it's only our bum from Corona del Mar. (only one bum in Corona Del Mar)

The cops don't like to arrest him, when they have, he would purposely mess his drawers
And as the winds of change carry the scent of tolerance, that's an odor we just can't ignore
Now our kids give him little gifts at Christmas, like wrapped lottery tickets in hopes that eventually he'll hit the jackpot and buy houses, and escalades and boats

Corona Del Mar, crown of the sea
We nobles agree just how lucky we are
Plenty of plenty for you and for me
And there's only one bum in Corona Del Mar
We're using Ben Franklins to light our cigars
'Cause we might not like it, but at least he's ours
Only one bum

Now, all this happened years ago
Sadly, today, our hero's not around
Some say he's been seen in Fresno, others say they heard he drowned
Still others swear he got baptized, spreading the word both near and far
And some of us think he may be the richest man who ever lived in Corona Del Mar

Corona Del Mar, crown of the sea
We nobles agree just how lucky we are
Plenty o' plenty for you and for me
And we sure miss that bum in Corona Del Mar
Sure miss that bum in Corona Del Mar
Sure miss that bum in Corona Del Mar. (and we all lived happily ever after)