One Way Widow

[Spoken]
She was sweet sixteen
Baby beauty queen
Straight white teeth
Bathed in beauty cream
Priss don't drink and priss don't smoke
Shit don't stink and don't take jokes
Botoxed in bobby socks
Cold as ice
All the boys where like white on rice
The end result is still the same
You can't go back the way you came

[Part 1]
Drink on mint juleps on the tennis court
The wealthy widow wanted more than sport
The tennis pro thought it was inappropriate
The wealthy widow thought that they should go for it
She giggled, pickled
Tanned as leather
Sacks of sand in her cashmere sweater
Oh Madame, the way you waste my time
It's so divine
Kissing the concrete you'd swear it was skin
Her manicure secretes original sin
Oh Madame, your taste for steak and wine
Serves to impress me

[Part 2]
You're so vain, I bet you don't think this song is about you
Profane Jane
(You can't go back the way you came
The end result is still the same)
You're so vain, you probably don't think this song is about you
Champagne Jane
(You can't go back the way you came
The end result is still the same)

[Part 3]
So many eager sinners
Only seven deadly sins
Hell's so goddamn crowded
That there's no one getting in
The line goes to the river Styx
But she can get you in

[Part 4]
It was work but the work was fun
What will they say when they see what we done?
What will they say when they see what we do?
10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-
One of us has got to go
One of us has got to cum
Bury me in mistletoe
Put a dollar on my tongue
You're so vain
You're so vain