One of Us Cannot Be Wrong

[Verse 1]
I lit a thin green candle
To make you jealous of me
But the room just filled up with mosquitos
They heard that my body was free
Then I took the dust of a long sleepless night
And I put it in your little shoe
And then I confess that I tortured the dress
That you wore for the world to look through

[Verse 2]
I showed my heart to the doctor
He said I just have to quit
Then he wrote himself a prescription
And your name was mentioned in it
Then he locked himself in a library shelf
With the details of our honeymoon
And I hear from the nurse that he's gotten much worse
And his practice is all in a ruin

[Verse 3]
I heard of a saint who had loved you
So I studied all night in his school
He taught that the duty of lovers
Is to tarnish the golden rule
And just when I was sure that his teachings were pure
He drowned himself in the pool
His body is gone, but back here on the lawn
His spirit continues to drool

[Verse 4]
An Eskimo showed me a movie
He'd recently taken of you
The poor man could hardly stop shivering
His lips and his fingers were blue
I suppose that he froze when the wind took your clothes
And I guess he just never got warm
But you stand there so nice in your blizzard of ice
Oh, please let me come into the storm