One of Those Moments

Guess this is one of those moments
I have to make a choice
What's wrong, what's right
Gets lost in the noise

I just rewind in my mind
And I try to review
So maybe, I'll know what to do

I try to hide from these moments
That way, I can't regret
The thoughts I fear
Are ones I forget
They never leave, though
They still linger under my skin
This mess that I'm in

That kiss was a domino falling
My whole life, I've been stalling
Hoping I could run from it
That bliss was reality calling
It was all so jarring
Everything changed
And I'll never bе the same

All that I've known
Is feeling alonе
I'm not used to having a throne
If I stand tall
Maybe I'll fall
Then what's the point of it all?

Is "perfect" ever really worth it?
Or do we lose things on the way?
Why is it that I'm always asked for answers
When there's so many things I can't say?

Guess this is one of those moments
I have to pick a side
Choose one, lose one
It's power or pride

I keep the peace
Or I keep all the people I love
Fate, won't you give me a shove?
What exactly am I fearing?
Just one more year till college
Why wear a mask and act
If it's all only short-term polish?

When did prevention take all my attention?
I used to be a badass loser
Grades were lower
Worries fewer
Now I've built a wall that's made of stone

All that I've known
Is feeling alone
I'm not used to having a throne
If I stand tall
Maybe I'll fall
Then what's the point of it all?

Dad, you would know what to say
You always had such a way
You made it all seem so easy
I didn't get that from you
Instead, I found something new
I ask, "What if no one sees me?"
And even worse, if they do
But find disgust in the view
You gave me life
And I screw it all for what?

Love?

But all that I've known
Is feeling alone
Don't want to fall off the throne
If I stand tall
And if I fall
What was the point of it all?

Will you promise you'll still love me
Even if I tell you that I'm...

Why am I asking you these questions
When I know there's nothing you can say?