One Minute Shower

From the Upcoming Stage Musical, Topper

Music by Galen H. Brown
Lyrics by Eric Zaccar

One minute shower
Two minute egg
Don’t run for the banker’s special
You might sprain your leg

Don’t run for the train
It isn’t dignified
One minute shower
Nine seconds to get dried

I’d like to dawdle one day in my shower
And dream of wild parties and driving fancy cars
I crave to lounge under water for an hour
And think of sleazy women I’d meet in roadhouse bars

One minute shower
Egg done in two
For eggs they have sulfur
And sulfur’s good for you
Pause by the mirror
Surely you jest
One minute shower
Twelve seconds to get dressed

I’d like to lounge out at my breakfast table
Feast on pancakes and bacon maybe tackle a trout
I’d like to act like a man in a fable
With women on my lap showing me what it’s all about

One minute shower
Two minute egg
Can I sneak a bite of your toast
Or will you make me beg
Soak in a bathtub
Seep in the steam
Sauna and Jacuzzi
Dear won’t you let me dream

Cosmo you’d be such a floundering ninny
Without my guidance you wouldn’t know how to put on your own pants
You couldn’t get through twenty minutes without me
Yes I’m sure you’re right dear but I’d be willing to take that chance

One minute shower
Two minute egg
You’re forty seconds late sir
You better shake a leg
Ninety second breakfast
Then chauffeured to your train
Same time tomorrow
Shower and egg again

Don’t run, dear!