One Damn Lane

[Verse 1]
Drums keep a-drummin'
He's late for the date
Motors keep a-hummin'
And the bastard's still late

Yeah, the groom isn't comin'
But still the bride waits
Because one damn lane is closed

Mr. Giovanni
Missed his own daughter's birth
My brother Johnny
Lost all sense of self-worth

And a doggy named Donny
Missed his last day on Earth
Because one damn lane was closed

[Chorus]
Prisoners of the 101
Trappin' each others'
Fathers and mothers'
Daughters and sons

Horns keep honking with no voice
Everyone's turnin' pro-choice

[Verse 2]
Poor little Simon
Missed his baseball game
Whole buncha firemen
Couldn't beat the damn flame

I grew old, got Alzheimer's 'n'
Forgot my own name
Because one damn lane was closed

Poor little Brian
Missed his junior prom
Private Ryan
Missed his flight to Vietnam

And my friend missed the dyin'
Last words of his mom
Because one damn lane was closed

[Chorus]
All those fat pigs in front of you
Who left their pen
At 6AM
With nothin' better to do

They're slowin' down to watch the construction
Such fascinating construction
A bulldozer's diggin' up dirt
The same bulldozer's diggin' up more dirt
And the exact same bulldozer continues to dig up more dirt

And a guy dressed in orange is pointing at something

[Verse 3]
Poor Mrs. Luddy
Missed her job interview
My same buddy
Missed his mom's funeral too

Oh, such cruddy case studies
If indeed they are true
But the fact remains that one damn lane is closed
It's closed, it's gettin' bulldozed
And the longer I sit here the more I'm opposed

Oh look, it's over
And my point is moot
Now I've sobered

From my rage-oholic hoot
But ten miles down the road, there's
A movie shoot
And all but one damn lane is closed

[Outro]
Better step on the brakes
Michael Bay wants ten more takes
Lord, why didn't I bring my garden hose?

Some exhaust would smell so sweet to my nose
All these lanes I should be drivin' on are closed