Older Woman

Now I'm known
As dapper Dan
The lady killer man
And those that I don't kill

I wound a bit
I run a fancy car
I call it the Mayflower
On account of all the
Puritans who've
Come across in it

Now I took
Twenty year old Pam
Up to the wood
Near boulder dam
Stopped the car
And thought that
She'd know what to do

I said get in
The back now, Pam
She said what the
Heck do you think I am
I wanna stay in the
Front seat here with you

Well, give me
An older woman
Every time, every time
Give me an older woman
Every time
'Cause they don't yеll
And they don't tell
And Oh, they'rе
Grateful as hell
So give me an older woman
Every time

Now the day
That my uncle Joe
Married my aunt Flo
He was forty-four
And she was sixty-nine

That night as I lay on my bed
I heard every word they said
I couldn't help it
'cause their room
Was next to mine
He said, how about it dear

She pretended not to hear
He beg and pleaded 'til his
Voice was hoarse and deep

He said Oh
How about it Flo
She said how about what Joe
He said how 'bout packin'
This in and the pair of us
Gettin' some sleep

Oh, give me …

Now last year
I divorced Maureen
She was just nineteen
The day that she
Became my boney bride
She was as cold as charity
Just as frigid as could be
When she opened her mouth
A little light came on inside

Now last week
I met her at a party
I was feeling kinda gay
Kinda hearty
And several whiskeys
Had sharpened up my wit
I said how about
A bit of whoopie
She said over my dead body
I said Maureen, girl
You haven't changed a bit

Oh, give me an older woman
…

Now when I was just a boy
I took a little
Girl called joy
Down into the meadow
And we laid down by a hedge
I said you know
My pretty little squaw
What your lovely
Lips are for
She said to stop my mouth
From frayin' 'round the edge

Now I tell ya
My wife's fifty-three
But you know
She still suits me
Though of late
Her hearing ain't so hot
But at night
As we lay on our bed
I put my lips
Close to her head
And I say
Well, are you
Going to sleep or what
And she's says what

Oh, give me
An older woman