[Intro]
Let’s turn that clock back
(How far back)
Not quite as far as last time
(Could this be considered like, Memories pt. 2?)
Fuckin’, I don’t know, prolly not, does it even matter? Let’s just get to the point
On some real shit
[Verse]
It’s time for me to address some shit that I ain’t done addressed yet
Lookin’ back upon my old self, it be my best bet
I try to improve myself the best I can from day to day
I delve deep in my brain, the best way to create change
I was 12 years old, approximately 2016
I knew I wasn’t too young to understand what this shit means
I started sayin’ things with the sole purpose of makin’ people pissed off
Spewin’ hateful shit because I knew that it was this awful
In the name of not givin’ a fuck
I didn’t know that I was pushin’ my luck
I didn’t know what a digital footprint or what a reputation was
I knew it was hurtful, but I was diggin’ the rush
I didn’t take into account that the people behind the screen had feelings
And those same feelings, they can get hurt
Mine were hurt badly before, and I know that’s what I was concealing
That wake up call was goin’ off but I misheard
Yes, I used to sling around hateful rhetoric
I used to look at other people like I was better than them
Maybe it was the influences that I put myself around
Maybe it was the fact I live in a small right wing town
Maybe it was an alcoholic that lived with us for nine months
Who happened to be gay, but did that ever come to mind once? No
That man is my uncle, and now he means the fuckin’ world to me
‘Cause I put aside his addiction, and put aside all my own bigotry
I used to get annoyed when people would say to use they pronouns
But if only back in those days I knew what I know now
What if that was my kid? What if that was yours?
What if it was you that people all had hatred for?
People not wantin’ to call others a different name, cause they own bias
What if you changed your name and no one ever called you by it?
What if people started callin’ you a faggot, because of who you loved?
The day that we give up will be the day we have a blue sun, inverted color
And color’s just another part of this shit
The struggles people go thru cause of they pigment of skin
It’s fuckin’ sickenin’, back then was a dark time
Talkin’ shit behind a screen, whenever I went online
I can’t believe some of the fuckin’ words I’ve said
Even if I didn’t mean it, I was fucked in the head, now that part of me’s dead
I killed it off myself, did it for my own health
‘Cause I grew up and realized that hate did not help
The shit I said was racist, it was LGBT-phobic
I was an ignorant fuck, and I’m aware enough to notice
And I’ll forever hold myself accountable for sayin’ what I said
I’ll do whatever it takes to make up for that shit ‘til I’m dead
I got called a faggot too, I didn’t like that shit
On the school bus, I wanted to fight that kid
I asked my mom what a faggot was, and she flipped her lid
Told me to never say that shit, cause it was offensive
I wish I’d listened, now I live in regret for my words
I wish I’d known how much that shit fuckin’ hurt
I heard that Kendrick song, and got inspired to write this verse
So I can maybe help spread awareness on this earth
I didn’t like the names tossed at me, you think they do?
Whites, blacks, straights, trans, and of course gays too
All of us humans bleed the same, the color of Red
Like the sea that Moses split to guide the Israelites away from they deaths
Hatred for others has always been somethin’ embedded in our world
Like an infection, a corruption, sick shit that makes your toes curl
How long we gonna keep it goin’? ‘Til the inevitable end?
Until we all out sufferin’ for each one of our sins?
Love who you love, don’t fill your heart up with hate
Respect for each other’s what we need at the end of the day
I’m happy that I’ve changed, and that my mind is more flexible
For now I am 18, coming out to you as bisexual