Old Paul

[Intro]
Man, I remember Freezy Freakies
Trying to do illustrations for cheesy weekly's
Everything was
Peachy-keen until I developed that Nietzsche spleen
I'm gonna take a lackadaisical ride on my back-in-the-day-cycle

[Hook]
Old Paul gave rap a cold call
The Caucasoid had the whole block annoyed
It took big, gilded, gold balls to smile at terror
And trial and error

[Verse 1: MC Paul Barman]
High school was horse crap
The format was a forced nap without the floor mat (OH YEAH!!!)
It’s pure and simple edutainment
Rap needed an SG Paul B so I became it
At a faster pace left the past erased
Met Master Ace just south of Astor Place
If it’s not hip-hop is it the opposite
Rap is scary
Bout to go pop (a zit) or bust a (cap) illary
But I’m not a square, I’m the monolith, the guy your girl got in the sauna with
Yet completely alone in the hairiest industry known
Besides the mafia
My beeper fell off of the
Belt loop under the train
I destroyed my cell phone
Because I self own

[Hook]
Old Paul gave rap a cold call
The Caucasoid had the whole block annoyed
It took big, gilded, gold balls to smile at terror
And trial and error

[Verse 2: MC Paul Barman]
People repping clones accused me of using rap as a stepping stone
I thought about this crap when I was schlepping home
Is it ‘cause I go for the laugh
Because I’m not from the Af'
Because I target the fans that you wish you didn’t have
Had I made a mockery of a culture like the Choco Taco
Was I to rap as France was to Morocco
Was I colon rap colon colon France colon Moroccooooooooo?

[Hook]
Old Paul gave rap a cold call
The Caucasoid had the whole block annoyed
It took big, gilded, gold balls to smile at terror
And trial and error

[Verse 3: MC Paul Barman]
It was a trial by fire
I smiled at liars with dorsal fins
Went home to the porcelain throne (Of course I’ll win)
Managed by a mean gambler
Coup d'État bought Ad Slides disguised as a Screen Scrambler
Photographed Phofo scratching our gold record (Yo, yo, Make that platinum)
Al Hirschfeld did the cover
My lover laughed on my hovercraft and gave me new ideas for another draft
(drum break)
I changed up my flow but my brain was cold stew
I pressed Ctrl+Q in full view of my old crew
Instead of hustling cameos and picking out Grammy clothes
I make stuffed animals as my family grows—I mean grew
I dropped out of this foolish world
And married a Jewish girl
And we had five kids
And we all loved each other
The End

[Hook]x2