Old Me

I'm sliding back into the old me
Wanna cold turkey but I get the cold feet
Double cup codeine seem to control me
Everybody in trouble they want to involve me

'spose it's the life that I asked for
Phone in my backpack tapped by the taskforce
I'll be long gone 'fore I cop me a passport
Last four years my whole life been on fast forward

Sippin' juice tryna slow it all down
Thinkin' what's the use I should throw it all out
But it's better than a noose and I know I'm worn out
I'm alone in my zone everybody gone now

Burn all my bridges I turn 'em to ashes
Burdened my bitch while I'd work for them rations
I'd turned into something I hated with passion
But now I'm going back into my old fashion

I hate it wanted to leave this I thought that I made it
Now I'm pouring up getting faded
Back on my bullshit I stay medicated
I stay with the bush on me kush is my fragrance

Get tired when the reaper close
Eat with my peeps I don't keep me a heap of those
I need to know the D's gonna leave me 'lone
I don't do shit I'm keeping low

I been keeping so low to the ground
That people don't know what I'm 'bout
Everyone think I be trappin because
They see me with a sack of that loud

But really you cats should know better
I got this money 'cause I'm a go getter
I stay with the heat like a loaded beretta
I don't give a fuck I stay loaded forever

I fight with my demons addicted to drugs
And I know if I quit 'em then they'd prob'ly let up
But I'm more likely to kill myself with 'em
On accident hoping they make me feel better

I don't know what I've been doing these last couple
Years but I feel like I'm gonna regret it
I only got love for the people who visited
Prison and wrote me them letters

I been fuckin' up on that drink though, people watchin' me fade away
Goin back to that old me, goin back to that day to day
Goin back to that struggle, straight back to that life
Going back to my double cup even though I know it ain't right

Fuck I'm getting skinny again
Everybody thinkin' you're an idiot Ben
I dunno why I think I'ma win in the end
I put my phone on fuck it I don't fit in with friends

I sit and pretend the codeine isn't fucking me up
Docs says I'ma die fuck it I'ma see ya's
Dogs talk shit but never do when they see us
Most of these faggots hate on the team wanna be us

I'm drowning this water is over my head
Sinking whenever I'm sober in bed
Drink and I smoke in regret, it won't ever end
Till I got that rope on my neck

But I never had a chance
Too many days getting faded on benzodiazepams
Too many other contaminants
Slowly it's snowballing into an avalanche

I'm sick of all the scratching and fiending
I'm sick of piggy backing these demons
I'm sick in the gut 'less I'm wacked off of lean
I forgot my reality actually dreaming

I been whippin' around with no license
Fuck the law dickin' em down I don't like 'em
Bars so hard people thinkin' I don't write 'em
Bitches ain't fuckin' with me they thinkin' I'm so violent

Everybody wanna rap like Benny
Everybody thinkin' that they brainnumb
Every morning I pack like twenty bongs straight
To my face in my bed then I wake up

These demons they keep on huntin'
I won't face 'em I keep on runnin'
No trust in a lane don't fuck with you main
Team Huskii, no snakes in my team one hunnit

I been fuckin' up on that drink though, people watchin' me fade away
Goin back to that old me, goin back to that day to day
Goin back to that struggle, straight back to that life
Going back to my double cup even though I know it ain't right

Fuckin' up on that drink though, people watchin' me fade away
Goin back to that old me, goin back to that day to day
Goin back to that struggle, straight back to that life
Going back to my double cup even though I know it ain't right

Fuckin' up on that drink though, people watchin' me fade away
Goin back to that old me, goin back to that day to day
Goin back to this struggle, straight back to this life
Going back to this double cup even though I know it ain't right