OBLIVIOUS

Back when I was younger
Felt like I was gonna die
Take a quick trip to the funeral home
Pass me by

The discoveries in my life
Is shit that makes me wanna cry
Like why was I the only kid pondering God
While the others were outside

Was I the weirdo
For not wanting to go outside
And play a hero
Made me wanna fly

Throw my fists at the door
A scared little kid
Having an crisis at four
What does it all mean

Other than the fact
I was seeing shit I hadn't
My nightmares and dreams
Making real life feel tragic

But I can't feel thosе feelings anymore
It just ain't equal
It's like I'm going to war
With mysеlf

And the person that I wanna be
Cause when I look in the mirror and see me
I don't see the one who I used to be
Or at least the one I pictured in my mind

Up until fourteen
My life had felt pretty divine
But that was the year
When I learned what the world was

A plotting scheme of the greatest powers
Shit they told us
In high school
Gave me less meaning than a blocked off fire hydrant

My mind stopped spitting ideas
Is that why I'm so violent?
Trying to juggle these knives of my thoughts
Just make it stop

My brain is on a collision course with my ego
The smallest being in mind
Since the idea to become an overachiever
Cause them fuckers burnt me out

Spent all my work and time instead of sitting on the couch
And now my energy is gone
If I ain't in control of my emotions
Then why should I make songs

The chords aren't going together
My mind isn't tracking along
To all the thoughts
Asking me if all of this is wrong

If I'm even supposed to be writing songs
I should be a lawyer or something
But then I'd let down all my teachers
Telling me I'll do something

Put my name up in the limelight
But I don't feel right
Should I be dead
Or should I just be a screen-write

Or a teacher
Making less than minimum wage
Have me locked in a cage
Clock in for a 9-5 and hold in my rage

Cause conformity
Always has me locked in my ways
But I wanna break out
Even if I barely leave the fucking house

I just know i need to find my own way to shout
Cause I'm too deep to scream
Is the void surrounding me my real life
Or is it just a dream

I don't even know no more
I don't even know no more
I don't even know