NURSING HOMES TERRIFY ME

[Verse 1]
Buzzer going off and ain't nobody coming
Another room, another buzzer
Another room, another buzzer
I hit the front desk to ask for help again
And I'll be damned at what they said, it's like they left me on read
And still I lingered, twiddled thumbs
Across a sea of piddled bums
I smelled death in the air
All these paintings of flowers
And still you never got yours
This where the hope get devoured
The hot poker to bowels
Wish I could throw up thosе hours
But still they sit in my stomach
At night they kick like I'm prеgnant
I wish the thought of losing you would fucking sit where I left it
In the back of my skull
In that place I don't go
Will we ever meet again?
I fucking hate I don't know
I remember what you told me when I helped you into bed
You told me, “Son, you know I love you, but I wish that I was dead."
And I'm just mad you even rubbed that fucking lamp in the first place
I'm mad you're not around to crack jokes on my worst days
I'm mad I saw it coming 'til the moment it happened
I'm mad you still blindsided with the slowest of captions
It was 7 AM
Momma called me, this was different
That silence in the car ride was the sickest of litmus
Ten minutes in the whip felt like 40 forevers
Weren't no screaming. Weren't no kicking. Weren't no for no forevers

It just happened

No build to crescendo
One second you were there, the next second...then, no

[Verse 2]
See, I've never feared death, only how I'd be remembered
I see each moment through an hourglass with presidential tints
But when that doctor took your leg, I saw the scar that's on mine
I took each pound inside my chest as signs to harvest my time
And every feeling that I felt was burdened with an asterisk
I couldn't stop to take the time to work through these patterns with a healthy outlook
Just recording and a tour bus
Flirt with a distraction, ended up courting with a Horcrux
I just miss you
You felt a pain you had to share and I dismissed you
I could never go back
And I just miss you
And I just miss you

[Outro]
Thank you!