Nudge, Nudge

Two men in a pub

Norman: Is your wife a...goer...eh? Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Nudge nudge. Know what I mean? Say no more...know what I mean?

Him: I beg your pardon?

Norman: Your wife...does she, er, does she 'go' - eh? eh? eh? Know what I mean, know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Say no more.

Him: Well, she sometimes goes, yes.

Norman: I bet she does. I bet she does. I bet she does. Know what I mean? Nudge nudge.

Him: I'm sorry, I don't quite follow you.

Norman: Follow me. Follow me. I like that. That's good. A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat, eh? (elbow gesture; rubs it)

Him: Are you trying to sell something?

Norman: Selling, selling. Very good. Very good. (hand tilting quickly) Oh, wicked. Wicked. You're wicked. Eh? Know what I mean. Know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Nudge nudge.
(leaning over to him, making eye gesture; speaks slowly) Say...no...more. (leans back as if having imparted a great secret)

Him: But...

Norman: (stops him with finger which he lays alongside nose; gives slight tap) Your wife is she, eh... is she a sport. Eh?

Him: She likes sport, yes!

Norman: I bet she does, I bet she does!

Him: She is very fond of cricket, as a matter of fact.

Norman: (leans across, looking away) Who isn't, eh? Know what I mean. Likes games, likes games. Knew she would. Knew she would. Knew she would. Likes games, eh? She's been around, eh? Been around?

Him: She's traveled. She's from Purley.

Norman: Oh...oh. Say no more, say no more. Say no more - Purley, say no more. Purley, eh? Know what I mean, know what I mean. Say no more.

Him: (about to speak; can't think of anything to say)

Norman: (leers, grinning) Your wife interested in er... (waggles head, leans across) photographs, eh? Know what I mean? Photographs, 'he asked him knowingly'.

Him: Photography?

Norman: Yes. Nudge nudge. Snap snap. Grin grin, wink wink, say no more?

Him: Holiday snaps?

Norman: Could be, could be taken on holiday. Could be yes - swimming costumes. Know what I mean. Candid photography. Know what I mean, nudge nudge.

Him: No, no we don't have a camera.

Norman: Oh. Still (slaps hands lightly twice) Woah! Eh? Wo-oah! Eh?

Him: Look, are you insinuating something?

Norman: Oh...no...no... Yes.

Him: Well?

Norman: Well. I mean. Er, I mean. You're a man of the world, aren't you...I mean, er, you've er... you've been there haven't you...I mean you've been around...eh?

Him: What do you mean?

Norman: Well I mean like you've er...you've done it...I mean like, you know...you've...er...you've slept...with a lady.

Him: Yes.

Norman: What's it like?