Now I Know

I woke up in the evening
And I'm sure now what time it was
I'm only saying this because
You weren't by my side

I miss you when I'm staring
At the patterns on the ceiling
As the evening grey is peeling back
A new moon greets the tide

And so it goes

Not a hair
Left out of place
No fanfare
Or lullabies
No one staring
At my face
And telling lies

When the night
Begins to change
And cast a weak
Asthmatic glow

The light is
Beautiful
And strange
I should have
Noticed
Long ago

Now I know
Now I know
Now I know
Now I know

When you died I think I lost my way
In absence or in grief
Or in a vague sense of relief
Because you suffered for so long

I lied to myself every day
We spent our lives together
I pretended that forever
Meant the clouds would move along

And so it goes

Let the rain
Soak through
My clothes
Clog the drains
And fill the skies
Until the ocean
Overflows
Beyond the tide

When i went through
Your old things
I found the diary
That you wrote

The cover bent like
Open wings
Filled with words
You never spoke

Now I know
Now I know
Now I know
Now I know

And i waited
Full of doubt
Until the sun was
Coming out

Time erases
Time erodes
Time takes
Everyone
It knows

Time is patient
And unkind

And so it goes

Now I know
Now I know
Now I know
Now I know