​nothing to hold on to.

(Just need to make a fucking song cause I just need to make a fucking song cause, yeah.)

Say you got my back but I ain't ever really seen you do it
You won't hit me back
And I been really fucking going through it
I just need a call, I just need to talk
I don't wanna type and I don't wanna write these songs

Cause it hurts too much and it takes too long
I can say it don't exist if I don't write it down
I don't really wanna see myself around
I just wanna put myself inside the ground

I just wanna fucking die, I don't wanna fucking live
I just wanna fucking cry, I can't even shed a tear
I might really need a beer, I might really need to smoke
I don't wanna face the fear, I just wanna fucking go
I can't stop the fucking thought, I might crash this fucking car
I might go right off the bridge, I might run right through the bar

I don't really give a fuck no more
I can't figurе out why my heart so sore

Everyday I wakе up I don't really wanna live
I been feeling pain but I don't really wanna give
Into all the things that I don't really wanna feel
Everyday the same, I don't think any of this real

Talk to my therapist, say existential
Tell me that all that I feel is just mental
What is the point that I'm trying to get to?
All that I've done, I don't think that I meant to

This a pathetic aesthetic, do not look up to me
Say I don't let it, but let it get to me
Fucking regret what I let you do to me
I need a medic for what you do to me

Made a living off of talking bout how much I wanna die
All these feelings, when I'm in it all I wanna know is why
Am I the way that I am, should I really even try?
Why if I know that I can even give it any time?

Life is hard so I gotta live it harder
Got no car but I still be getting farther
I taste tar and I feel it in my lungs
I just learned I was all I ever needed all along