Nothing is True: An Assassin’s Creed Song

I'm the talk of the town in Damascus!
I'm the king of the swing in Arsuf!
I'm the peep of the people in Acre
Even though I'm known for seeming aloof!

I can dive through the sky
I can dash! I can fly!
‘Cause there's nothin' that I cannot do!

I can blend in a crowd-
See, everything is allowed!
Here, let me share some words of wisdom with you-

'CAUSE NOTHING IS TRUE

I've got scabbards and daggers and sabres!
I've got knives and steely gauntlets to spare!
I've got crossbows and smoke bombs aplenty!
I've got a hidden blade for fixin' my hair!

I'll kill whoever, wherevеr
Whenever I plеase!
An evil friar, or a half-naked dude!

A starving minstrel or snitch
A templar knight who's a- LADY?!
They're all the same when I'm perfecting my coup
'Cause NOTHING IS TRUE

I've poise! I've grace!
I'll stab you in the FACE!
Ezio's my bro
But there’s so many ways that I'm better than him
Until I step into water, ‘cause I CAN'T SWIM!!!

All the others assassins adore me
Except one, who pretty much hates my guts
So bring it, Abby- WHO's YOUR DADDY?! -oop Sore spot!
My hidden gun's on hand to blow off your butts!

I'm the Bourne of the late 'leven hundreds!
Medieval Bond without a suitable Q!
I'm both a pirate and a ninja
With some viking and a tinge of
Robin Hoodian, Swashlibucklin' Derring-do!
'Cause NOTHIN' IS TRUE!

[And when I get unwanted attention
From killing walls and climbing n00bs
I just recall that everything is permitted
And that I'm justified in all that I DO!
'Cause NOTHIN' IS TRUE!]