Note To Self

I got a fucked up brain
It's always breaking me down
I live in constant fear of letting people close to me down
Im Hit with waves of emotion I can feel myself drown
Wish I can let go of the sadness that's been plaguing me now
But I can't
It's stuck in my head
I need to kill it off
In my bed
Wishing I was dead
45 will send me off
How do you
Say goodbye
When you don't
Know whats supposed to comes next
Wish I didn't have to feel all the shit I have felt
I got blisters on my feet its like im walking through hell
I had to turn the bottle and try to drown it myself
I wound up in a mindset that corroded my cells
Chain smoking till it makes it harder to brеathe
You carry your best friends caskеt just to put him beneath
When the devils taking over you have no room to grieve
When your subjected to the pain close your eyes and remember me
The money the music the drugs the liquor they're tempting
You like to count your fucking problems instead of counting your blessing
This life ain't a fuckin game you can't go change up the settings
We're all slaves to the media and it's fucking depressing
You Put on a false persona and act like everything's perfect
When you are rotting to the core and inside you feel worthless
Ignore your mental health then you're defeating the purpose
Tell it all boils over and hate will slowly rise to the surface
Wish I didn't have to feel all the shit I have felt
I got blisters on my feet its like im walking through hell
But I needed all that pain cuz it made me myself
You gotta put it behind you and learn to just say farewell
Life's filled with these struggles
You gotta keep on your hustle
Gotta get free from the rubble
The missing piece to the puzzle
When the devils taking over you have no room to grieve
When your subjected to the pain close your eyes and remember me