Not Really Me

[Intro: Jae Williams]
Jae
Williams
Got a few things
To get off my mind (Midlow!)
I'm not really me
I'm not really me

[Chorus: Jae Williams]
I'm prayin' to the Lord, He's the only One that's healin' me
If you show you're fake, I'll cut you off, just like a guillotine
Ask if I'm okay, no, I'm not, I'm not really me
They ask if I'm okay, no, I'm not, I'm not really me
I'm prayin' to the Lord, He's the only One that's healin' me
If you show you're fake, I'll cut you off, just like a guillotine
Ask if I'm okay, no, I'm not, I'm not really me
They ask if I'm okay, no, I'm not, I'm not really me

[Verse 1: Jae Williams]
On the outside, I've been smilin', on the inside, I've been hurtin'
Never been the one to vent, I was 'bout to call the curtains
This is it, call it quits, yes, that voice of doubt was lurkin'
I was drowin', thoughts were cloudy, I was really losin' purpose, yeah (I was)
Sulking over failures, yeah, that was just gon' hold progression
I've been very isolated, dealin' with my own depression (I have)
This is really to the viewer, at the viewers on discretion
But that viewer is myself, staring at my own reflection
I hate my current situation, tryna break my limitations
Just want to be liberated, take my pain and eliminate it
I always feel two steps behind, stuck as if I'm petrified
Maybe I should take a step back and just refresh my mind
Don't tell me I should open up, my heart is cold, it's frozen-shut
Maybe I should go and pop off quick, just like a loaded gun
Watch what you say to me, on God, you better hold your tongue
Music is my medicine, I never could resort to drugs

[Chorus: Jae Williams]
I'm prayin' to the Lord, He's the only One that's healin' me
If you show you're fake, I'll cut you off, just like a guillotine
Ask if I'm okay, no, I'm not, I'm not really me
They ask if I'm okay, no, I'm not, I'm not really me
I'm prayin' to the Lord, He's the only One that's healin' me
If you show you're fake, I'll cut you off, just like a guillotine
Ask if I'm okay, no, I'm not, I'm not really me
They ask if I'm okay, no, I'm not, I'm not really me

[Verse 2: Jae Williams]
I'm sick of tryna explain myself to people who won't understand (I am)
Sick of people tryna come back when I gain the upper-hand (I am)
Angry that I couldn't cut it, even with another chance
Maybe I just need to take a trip back to the motherland
'Cause I feel me slippin', I feel I'm distant, ready to pop off in an instant (I do)
Like, what's wrong, Jess'? Why you trippin'? If you cross the line, just know you finished
My mind is hurt, but it could be worse, I'm an open book on this open verse
Cannot press rewind, cannot press reverse, like hit rewind, can't press reserve
Feel my mind is split in two with anger I can give into
From kindness I've been giving you, that's just the Devil tempting you (It is)
Who is that? The voice of reason, people change, just like a season (They do)
Feel I'm hurt, but I'm not bleeding, yes, this smile is so deceiving (It is)
Don't tell me I should open up, my heart is cold, it's frozen-shut
"C'mon, Jess', no need for you to pop off, like a loaded gun
Jess', you are not alone, you are not the only one"
God is my medicine, I never could resort to drugs

[Chorus: Jae Williams]
I'm prayin' to the Lord, He's the only One that's healin' me
If you show you're fake, I'll cut you off, just like a guillotine
Ask if I'm okay, no, I'm not, I'm not really me
They ask if I'm okay, no, I'm not, I'm not really me
I'm prayin' to the Lord, He's the only One that's healin' me
If you show you're fake, I'll cut you off, just like a guillotine
Ask if I'm okay, no, I'm not, I'm not really me
They ask if I'm okay, no, I'm not, I'm not really me

[Outro: Ozzy Osbourne]
(Ay- ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay)