Nostalgia

Part 1
[Verse 1]

Hot or cold school lunches, on pretzels I'm munching
Squeezing my apple juice pouch till nothing else comes out
That bell ring, time for recess, those monkey bars are mine
I'm getting all the way across, today Ima shine
Fast forward, the world is yours, Nas rhymes blessed me with wisdom
I had that venom written down, kept it safe in my denim
I sneak a peek, teacher thinking I cheat
Now she, taking my sheet, softly, my heart would weep
It took me, damn near a week to get all those words correct
I heard the songs through the floorboard, cousins blasting cassettes
Remember, when I was younger mom would silence my hunger
Now each day, the same shit different toilet, look at me with no plunger
Summer days, they used to be cool, now its a scorcher when it rains
Maybe it's still the same, the reason I'm seeing change
As the stress grew on my brain, my family tree got uprooted
And that left me with no shade, aye

[Verse 2]

I traded freezies for reefer
It's hard to be a believer
When demons with heaters are meaning to leave you leaking over
Disa-greements when speaking, I'm feeling like fuck a regents
My region just ain't prestigious, pictures of black Jesus
Provoked glimmers of hope, till fiends strung out on coke
Offered, they services so they could cope with the smoke
I went home and I wrote, desperate to free my mind
Of memories vividly staring down the barrels of nines
My conscience no longer dominant, negativity's prominent
Owning two pairs of jeans, that greatly effected my confidence
Robberies consuming calories, poverties concluded masteries
Of consonants and vowels, on the prowl for bigger salaries
I've, changed inside lost my innocent vibe
I'm villain entwined, confined by the state of my mind
I grind, but there's not enough time, no Brita, got my water bitter
Mama ain't raise no quitter, uh

Part 2

[Verse 1]

The sky is cloudy, rain dripping from my brim
I tug on it, let the excess water runoff, the suns gone
If I die today how many of y'all will miss Shawn?
Pardon, Navajo, now I chief hard
Please god, what's the reason I go through all this shit?
If I'm living your script, you know the next thing is
Me cursing you, what can be worse, give me something new
I apologize, that was just stress and I'm a young fool
I may need a shrink, now the yelling's getting louder
And I'm sitting, tryna think, but that phone keep ringing
Asking for Cheryl Bluntt, already smoked one
Start rolling another, altercations with my mothers brother
Are you prepared to take my life? You threaten but don't be idle
This young, quiet nigga can be quite homicidal
I carry more than 3 knives, strike at you vitals
I've lived this life, my nightmare sweats kept me up at night
Fights, ducking cops, strays, coming my way
They missed hit innocents, lives taken to this day
I still see his face, damn is my shit laced, my heart race
No if it wasn't bitch I would've have closed my own case
Pick myself up, impossible, I wouldn't lived through high school
Without my nigga Smoove or Az-Iz, If i get older I'll make sure
To protect my kids, from this awful fate, at this rate
I'll be lucky to see heavens gates, damn again that I forgot to pray
It's those leecher preacher that made me turn astray
Blaming others for my fuck ups, come on nigga nut up
You old enough to take responsibility, shonuff