No Shirt, No Shoes, No Knuckleheads

[Verse 1: Sturgill Simpson]
Well you want some good food when your night out ends
The big yellow sign is your new best friend
They got waffles and bacon and coffee too
But an all-star breakfast comes with some rules

[Verse 2: Stephen Colbert]
Cause this ain't no waffle zoo, it ain't no waffle barn
It's a place of waffle business run with style and charm
Save that 'rowdy bizz' for the other waffle shops
Follow the rules or someone's calling the cops

[Chorus 1: Stephen & Sturgill]
Don't say no swears or write on the wall
You can have your fun son, but don't have a brawl
No spitting, no yelling, no slip n' slide
And if you're gonna get sick, better head outside
Don't sleep in the booth, save it for your bed
No shirt, no shoes, no knuckleheads

[Verse 3: Sturgill Simpson]
You're killing your hangover, but you're killing my mood
All these nice, upstanding families just came for some food
If you're gonna cause a ruckus, then I must object
These are some world famous waffles son, show some respect

[Verse 4: Stephen Colbert]
Cause this ain't no waffle circus or a waffle asylum
You got problems with that, you better reconcile 'em
If you want to be a drunken mess, you better do it at brunch
Cause this house has rules, and there's a bunch

[Chorus 2: Stephen & Sturgill]
No drinkin', no druggin', don't show your behind
Don't build no evil robots for enslavin' mankind
No skeletons or zombies, because we don't serve the dead
No shirt, no shoes, no knuckleheads
You want 'em scattered, smothered, covered, listen what I said
No shirt, no shoes, no knuckleheads

[Outro: Stephen Colbert]
Waffle House, Waffle House
Do the right thing