No Dames!

(Spoken intro)
[BARTENDER]
The Swingin' Dinghy is closin', folks. Time for me to clean up, time for you to clear out

[GIRLS]
See you in eight months!
Toodle-oo!

[BARTENDER]
Eight months?

[SAILOR 1]
Yeah, we're shipping out in the morning

[SAILOR 2]
Golly, eight months without a dame!

[BURT]
Can you beat it?

[BARTENDER]
You're gonna have to beat it

(Song)
[BURT]
We are headin' out to sea
And however it will be
It ain't gonna be the same
'Cause no matter what we see
When we're out there on the sea
We ain't gonna see a dame

We'll be searchin' high and low
On the deck and down below
But it's a cryin' shame
Oh, we'll see a lot of fish
But we'll never clock a dish
We ain't gonna see a dame

No dames!

[SAILOR 1]
We might see some octopuses

[BURT]
No dames!

[SAILOR 2]
Or a half a dozen clams

[BURT]
No dames!

[SAILOR 3]
We might even see a mermaid

[ALL]
But mermaids got no gams!

[SAILOR 4]
No gams!

(dance break)

[SAILORS]
Have we got a girl for you!
Out there on the sea
Here's how it will be
I'm gonna dance with you, pal
You're gonna dance with me
When we're out there on the sea
We'll be as happy as can be
Or so the captain claims

[BURT]
But we have to disagree
'Cause the only guarantee
Is I'll see a lot of you
And you'll see a lot of me

[SAILORS]
And it's absolutely certain
That we'll see a lot of sea
But we ain't gonna see no dames
No dames! We're going to sea!
No dames! We're going to sea!
No dames! We're going to sea!
We ain't gonna see no dames!

(spoken outro)
[SAILOR ENTERING BAR]
This place looks open!