Nineteen

[Verse]
My lil brother 19 he in streets crazy
Thinkin he grown & can't nothin phase him
I try to reel him in but they keep baitin' him
Same dad different mommas but the same genes
I thank God my mother raised me
I try to tell him every cliche the media feeds us
About black men, diseases, deceased or illegal
From halfway across the country it's not easy to reach him
I apologize if I freeze when I'm speakin
That don't mean I'm stupid it means that I'm thinkin
& my reasons for thinkin
Get as deep as the sea is
Heavy burdens quake the earth when my feet hit the cement
& recently, I lost 3 aunties
2 of em not blood but still I bleed
They helped raise me
I mean I really had a village in the 80s
I know u feelin all alone momma
Down there in Stone Mountain but I'm just a phone call
Away, I think about you everyday
You moved back home when I was 19 but you set me straight
I cried cus I seen my momma cry when her sister died
It felt like a Mack truck just hit my side
In an age when everything is digitized
I probably needed to go through it to feel alive
Cus I done seen my homie in a casket
12 or 13 not really knowin what just happened
Seems like a couple days before we was just laughin
The crazy part was that my other homie did the blastin
Girls cryin like some Tony winning actresses
But those was real tears though
Happiness on zero imaginin his fear
Before that my biggest concern was imaginary heroes
I remember it like it was years ago
Or yesterday, same thang
Ain't changed, same pain
That I never really spoke about since the 8th grade
Crazy
Rappin bout pain really ain't my thang
But I thank God I'm here today to write on a blank page