Nick Teen and Al K. Hall

Spoken introduction:
Nicholas! Albert! Look, I don't know where they are, but I'd like you to meet
My two pals, my buddies, my two amigos. I'll tell you all about them - well...

I never gargled, I never gambled, I never smoked at all
Until I met my two good amigos, Nick Teen and Al K. Hall

Strange as it seems, I met in my dreams, Nick Teen and Al K. Hall
Here's what they said to me, 'Use your head, just see your life is very, very dull"

Well, I never gargled, I never gambled, I never smoked at all
Until I met my two good amigos, Nick Teen and Al K. Hall

So I said to Nick, 'Nick tell me quick, what should a fellow do?'
He said to me, 'Boy, easy to see boy, you should try a cigarette or two.'

Well, I never gargled, I never gambled, I never smoked at all
Until I met my two good amigos, Nick Teen and Al K. Hall

So I lit a fag, and I took a drag, then to my great surprise
I started to gasp, and coughed like a rasp
And everything spun round before my eyes

Well, I never gargled, I never gambled, I never smoked at all
Until I met my two good amigos, Nick Teen and Al K. Hall

So I said to Al, 'Al, be a pal, what do you really think?'
He said to me, 'Boy, easy to see boy, smoking's kid's stuff, pour yourself a drink.'

Well, I never gargled, I never gambled, I never smoked at all
Until I met my two good amigos, Nick Teen and Al K. Hall

So quick as a wink, I took a drink, swigged a glassful down
First it seemed to hit me, then it turned around and bit me
And everything went all spinning round

Well, I never gargled, I never gambled, I never smoked at all
Until I met my two good amigos, Nick Teen and Al K. Hall

Well, here is the joke, when I awoke, it wasn't finished yet
I noticed first a terrible thirst
And then a craving for a cigarette

Well, I never gargled, I never gambled, I never smoked at all
Until I met my two good amigos, Nick Teen and Al K. Hall

Well, take my advice, this smoking is nice and the drinking is really lush
As you can see, there's no change in me
I'm still as pure as the driven slush

Well, I never gargled, I never gambled, I never smoked at all
Until I met my two good amigos, Nick Teen and Al K. Hall

Nick Teen and Al K. Hall