New Years Eve

[Verse 1]
Wondering when I'm gonna come of age
Faded prom queens chew on cheeks, dreaming to run away
Adolescence left, but the lavender stayed
Pink and grey skies forever, baby, how does it taste?

Watch the moon and planets, hoping for some kinda change
Conversations with a comet, said it'll be okay
Learned to blossom on my own, have some time to bleed
Maybe next year
It'll all be a dream

[Chorus 1]
Eyes burn from the fireworks on New Yеar's Eve
Always chasing closure
To end whеre I begin

And memories fade and turn to monochrome
You know I'll stay
For as long as I miss you

[Verse 2]
Fingers in the grass and petals in your black dress
Kiss me, Miss Melancholy, baby how does it taste?
Blue dye on my pillow and lovebites on my sleeve
Love-bomb me 'till I can't fucking breathe

Doomscroll filling empty holes with emptiness
Learn to live in a house of melancholia
And grow lavender in windows, an empty smile when wind blows
I'll become closed off and grow some thicker walls

[Chorus 2]
Eyes burn from the fireworks on New Year's Eve
Voicemails down the telephone
You're slurring all your speech

And memories fade and turn to monochrome
The suburbs change, but you stay on my soul

[Bridge]
Next year I'll grow a set of thicker skin
Dance with the boy in the puddle of rain
We're only getting older
Chasing kairos I found buried in the snow
In rearview glass first love seems so small
'Till I found out I love in circles

[Outro]
Don’t call me Jesus if you just wanna fuck
You said "Let's finish playing pretend" as I became your late-night regret
I stared into the mirror
So fucking sick of myself
And the cycle of self loathing and love falls into place again
Your ego was satisified but I was left burning up