Never Judge a Man by his Umbrella

[Verse]
He wears a suit and nice tie
Takes breakfast with his nice wife
Puts a hat on to go to work
Says goodbye to the poochie first
Turns around and blows a kiss
Says he loves her, and he'll be home by six

His people bring him coffees
They love him in the office
He's the water cooler number one
A man a-wit, a man a-charm
His secretary's in love with him
She dreams all night of making love to him

[Chorus]
He'll buy you a drink, and he'll buy 'em all ni-ight
He don't spill a drop when he falls off his stool
He'll jump on a planе and he'll head for the fi-ight
You'll lovе him, you'll miss him, you'll feel like a fool
Never judge a man by his umbrella

[Instrumental]

[Verse]
He goes to the cricket
His knowledge is prolific
Marmalade to start his day
The Times of London and he's on his way
He's down the stairs, he's underground
And then he's gone, he's a-nowhere to be found

He's got a friend called Arnold
Who gets 'im into trouble
They whisper, "he's a Russian spy"
One of us? Don't make me smile!
He's a man a-charm, a man a-wit
And he said he loved her and he'd be home by six

[Chorus]
He'll give you a kiss but look over your shoulder
He'll hand you a pillow while hiding a knife
He'll love that your friendship is thirty years old
He'll kiss all your children
But he'll be kissing your wife
Never judge a man by his umbrella
I said never judge a man by his umbrella