Neo-Pseudo Existence

A new fake existence
As universe aligned
I've seen a red handed halo stirred within
Untamed and bitter
A soul went awoken
A feline once frail and broken

The more I cling and crawl, distance rises
A predator's thrall
As water streaming upwards
Has me drowned, the myth of Sisyphus turns real

Terminal sickness, purge my existence

I found the track to my other self lost
Succumb to my fate irreversibly blocked
I failed you in vain I flew you
The prey hunt, the deer shot

Inseminated melancholy, contaminated without empathy

Terminal sickness, purge my existence
Of this piteous throwness

I chose a neo-pseudo existence
Where despise and desire can't be told apart
Where pain boils, in the soil of the soul
And a fading will reigns the heart

My perception without cure
For you a truth too obscure

Isolated, battered and broken
I bite my way through these restraints
Senses numb, behind a grin frozen
I dispossess of once treasured lost faith

Magic with morals
You're reluctant, yourself to embrace or endure
Meaningless thoughts derail
In moments of atonement amorality prevails

5 minutes, a wish never granted
Angelic nectar implanted

Imagine the marvel of utopian perfection
Unmasked a fraud
A mockup in sudden insight
Catharsis undone

You chose a neo-pseudo existence
Shaded with shallow stripped emotions
Where your life is nothing but a hollow shell
And your words are void of devotion

The way things once believed end in sorrow grieved
And what once surprised is demystified
Catharsis undone