My Suicide Letter, Pt 2

[Trapp Tarrell]
I should do it. I′m with it
I'm going through it, they don′t get it
This life of mine, I have to end it

But let me tell you why I did it

I heard some say it's selfish
But this the option I was left with
It′s not my fault that I'm helpless

When I'm down they try to tell me "don′t start with this"
Money bag on some heartless shit
I′m here now but it's more than me that started this

Y′all all played a part in this
There's an art to this
This departure shit
My relationship with God is not a partnership
I′ve been through it all and came out on the top and shit
But never met nothin' hard as this
So I havе to quit

I′m 'bout to leave four kids behind
It'll hurt ′еm first but fuck it they′ll heal with time
There's nothin′ anyone can say that can change my mind
'Cos they had a chance when I told them I weren′t fine
'Cos they had a chance to be with me and figure and solve it

Told my wife and she told me that she got her own problems
Any good that she did right then start dissolvin′
'Cos hearing that was a permanent deposit
So she one of the problems

But they lookin' at me
′Cos years a go when I was young I decided to cheat
But they don′t know everything, they just know what they see
They don't know it′s more than me who found fish in the sea
I'm not the only one who let somebody get in they head
I ain′t the only one who lied about shit that I said
Every time we havin' problems I heard shit that you said
You don′t care but you the most important reason I'm dead

You the reason I'm dead
But you ain′t do the whole thing on your own
I got friends I don′t know if I can trust em' alone
I don't think I should, somethin′ tellin' me in my bones
Now y′all know the reason that I barely answer the phone
Now y'all know the reason that I′m always chillin' alone
I got a feeling that I know that feeling not wrong

Shit I could be tripping
I made my decision
I'mma handle shit on my own

So I say bye
Bye to my sisters
Bye to my brothers I hope that you miss me
Sorry to God ′cos I didn′t let you leave me
I just didn't feel that you loved me to pieces
Bye to my nephew and bye to my nieces
Sorry I left you, I know that you need me
Bye to my kids that act like you don′t need me