My Suicide Letter, Pt 1

[Trapp Terrell]
Don′t nobody love me like that
Maybe it's me, but I feel no one has my back
Not the way I need ′em it's about them when they hit my jack

But what about me?

I know that I smile and I try to look free but I know that they see nothing's livin′ in me

Now I′m here stuck with this empty depression
Okay God look you taught me a lesson
I'm tired of helping niggas when they stressin'

When is it my turn to get me a blessing?
I bless em' like that

'Cos I got it all

I got it all except mental connection
I can′t connect with myself
This shit affecting my health
I know that I need mе some help

But what am I to do?
I just wanna live my fuckin' truth

Whеn I look myself inside the eyes
I don′t even know that fuckin' dude

I guess going to therapy'll have to do
But I don′t like going up in there

′Cos I'm here for people everyday
Why I gotta pay someone to care?

′Cos that's all it is
A fake friend
Who gets top dollar to listen in
How do I know if I can trust them?
When I don′t even know if I can trust my friends?
I don't even know if I can trust my wife
I can′t even trust me with my life
Shit different and I don't get it
Why's my heart that′s cold as ice?

Why it gotta be me who don′t know what's wrong?
Got breath in my body but my soul is gone
I′m trying to shake the feeling I'm alone
′Cos I ain't gon′ lie I'm barely holding on
I ain't gon′ lie I′m at a lost place
Ganged out, I've lost faith
It′ll feel better if I'm not here

Someone new can come and take my place

Someone new can come and take my place
Ain′t no love here they don't understand me

Who the fuck can I turn to?
If I can′t turn to my fucking family
All I'm doing is fuckin' complaining
Another reason that I need to vanish
It′s time for me to do something about it
Where′s my gun? I'mma up the ante