My Handy Man Ain’t Handy No More

Now whoever said a good man is hard to find
Positively absolutely sure was blind
'Cause I just found the best man that ever was
And here’s just a few of the things that he does

He shakes my ashes
Greases my griddle
Churns my butter
And he strokes my fiddle
My man, is such a handy man

Now he threads my needle
And he creams my wheat
Heats my heater
And he chops my meat (he’s a mess)
My man, is such a handy man

Now I don’t care if you believe it or not
He’s a mighty nice man to have around
'Cause when my furnace gets too hot
He’s right there to turn my damper down
For everything, that man of mine’s got a scheme
And honey it’s amazing the way he handles my machine
My man, is such a handyman (oh that man is a mess)

He flaps my flapjacks
Cleans off the table
Feeds the horses in my stable
My man, is such a handyman

And do you know, sometimes he’s up way before dawn
Busy cleaning the rough edges off my lawn
My man, is such a handyman

Now, he never has a single word to say
While he’s working hard (poor soul)
And I’d give anything if you could see the way
He handles my front yard

Now my ice never gets a chance to melt away
'Cause he sees that I get a nice fresh piece everyday
My man, is such a handyman