My First Day

TARIQ (NARRATION): Finally. I was in. Tru hit me off with the product, and even hooked me up with a fly spot uptown to hustle the goods. Man, my first day, I G’d off. Yo, with the money I was making, I figured I could get my own equipment. Fuck paying someone else. Point-blank, the money was incredible. By the second day, I started getting regular customers

[*street noises*]

MALE CRACKHEAD: Yo-yo-yo, baby. I’m back, a nigga back. And you know what I did just for you? I brought you some more customers

MALE CRACKHEAD #2: Aye, what’s up, baby? We tryna get it and make it happen. I heard you the new man on the block!

TARIQ: Pssh! And?

MALE CRACKHEAD: Well, if you asking me, I— I think that entitles me to a discount. Mmm… Discount…

TARIQ: Like what, yo?

MALE CRACKHEAD: Like, free, nigga!

TARIQ: Yo, you bugging! I don’t get down like that. Cash money, son!

MALE CRACKHEAD: Cash? Come on, cut a brother some slack. Bitch! See, I bring you mad customers. I look out, I look out— I do whatever you need. W-w-w-wait, I got it, I got it. How ‘bout I hook you up with a brand new Rolex? Look at that, look at that, look at that. Yeah, look nice, right?

TARIQ: Ayo, for real, yo. That shit faker than a motherfucker. You need to back up with that shit, for real. You need to go ‘head with that shit

MALE CRACKHEAD: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. You— Y-You know, you got one of them, uh, Timexes, okay. You cool with that. How ‘bout I give you my girl right here?

[*Female Crackhead coughing*]

FEMALE CRACKHEAD: Please…

MALE CRACKHEAD: She don’t care! She don’t give a fuck. She— She’ll clean your house, she’ll iron your clothes, she’ll tune up your car, she’ll wash your baseball caps. She don’t give a fuck!

TARIQ: Yo, what the fuck I’ma do with this crackhead bitch, man?

MALE CRACKHEAD: Hey-hey-hey now, man, now— Ain’t gon’ have none of that shit, man. Don’t be dissing my girl, now, shit. I beat your ass so bad, you be the only nigga in heaven with a wheelchair

TARIQ: Whatever, yo. Strictly cash

MALE CRACKHEAD (*whispering*): Okay, okay, okay. Hey, man. Look, look. Don’t tell nobody this. I’ma offer you this. Only you. I did this once before. Check this out. I’ll suck your dick for a hit. Yeah! Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know you can’t tell: I sucks a mean dick, see? I hung out with them crack bitches for so long. I watched them suck dick, and I studied their technique

TARIQ: The fuck? Is you crazy, yo? Back up with that shit, man. What you talking about?

MALE CRACKHEAD: Aight, how ‘bout I toss your salad?

TARIQ: Toss my salad? What? Yo, what did I say, B?

MALE CRACKHEAD: How ‘bout I butter your corn? If you don’t like that, I’ll put cheese in your macaroni! Yo, yo, man, it’s hard being hooked, man! It is hard being hooked!