My Dogs

[MAN TWO]
I had a little dog
His name was on his collar
His ears felt like a rug
I bought him for a dollar

I'd bathe him in the sink
Each day the dog got sicker
I gave him milk to drink
I also gave him liquor

Oh, my dog with his funny little face
Ran around this rundown place
And one day, he died
My dog, god I miss him
My dog, I would kiss his head
And he'd sleep with me in bed

I got another dog
I painted this one leopard
I named it "Leopard Spot"
He was born a German Shepherd

We'd laugh that dog and me
I'd tell the jokes, he'd snicker
We'd sit beneath the tree
I'd read him Rin Tin Tin and Flicker

Oh, my dog, playfully he'd misbehave
He was young and strong and brave
And one day, he died
My dog, I'm here crying
My dog, he's lying at the vet's
That's what comes of loving pets!

I had a Sussex Spaniel
Called it Daniel
But his name was Trudy
And she died too soon
Then got a Schipperke
Loved that dog unashamedly
It was freshly washed!
When it got squashed
Like a dog in a cartoon

My next dog me no like
A Dandie Dinmont was he
I used to toss the canine from my bike
His name was Mr. Fuzzy

I tried to change his size
I pushed his face in flatter
I pinched and squeezed his eyes
But it really didn't matter

Oh, my dog, stupid little Dandie D
I loathed it and it loathed me
It lived forever!
Oh, god, life's ironic
Oh, god, I'm a catatonic guy
Why's it only dogs I love that die?
My dogs