My Bum Is On Ya Lips

My bum is on ya lips
My bum is on ya lips
And if you don't like it
You can suck my dick

I used to dress like superman, go downtown
Run around like an asshole, fucking around
I met on the street, he was sixty years old
He wanted to fight, so he punched me in the nose
'Cause I asked him where he's going
He said, 'none of your business'
Snapped my mic in two, I said, 'what is this?'

My bum is on ya lips
My bum is on ya lips
I humped a dead moose on MTV for kicks

To make people freak out, suckers react
Eminem talked about it in my favorite rap
I used to wake up my parents, then Bam stole it
People dippin' in my bag of tricks, now they golden
I won't be surprised if Johnny starts to rap
But he'll do it in style, in a Von Dutch hat

My bum is on ya lips
My bum is on ya lips
And if you get lucky, you can suck my dick
(that's right)
My bum is on ya lips
My bum is on ya lips
And if you don't like it, you can suck my dick

I used to fall down in crutches, see what would happen
Swam in the ocean with sharks, now I'm rappin'
Executive tiers, they gravitate to the biz
And if you don't like it, then you're shot like jizz
So pay attention to the back, smile and shake
And try to do something clever for goodness sake
Like do aerobics with a bunch of old ladies
And wear pink tights like it is the 1980's
OK, not so clever, but good for a laugh
I got stuck in handcuffs a couple times in the past
I opened up a bank account, and now it's full
I guess the critics and the media conceived the bull

My bum is on ya lips
My bum is on ya lips

I used to act funny and talk a lot of shit
But then I moved to Hollywood and got conservative
I didn't want to piss anyone off in the biz
The media can chew you up like a machine
But weebles wobble and they don't fall down, know what I mean?
I used to have cancer, I just beat it
You want to try to take me out? You'll be defeated
I like to do things that have never been done
So, if I look kind of strange, that's the reason

My bum is on ya lips
My bum is on ya lips
And if you don't like it, I think I'll take a shit
My bum is on ya lips
My bum is on ya lips
And if you don't like it, you can suck my dick

OK, I went to Japan. I put a monkey in my van
Kicked off the subway by Charlie Chan
Pocket full of chicken feed for the chickens
Sat in my hotel, read some Chuck Dickens
Then I came back to the USA
I had a quickie rubber stamp divorce to celebrate
I took a shit in the toilet, then I took a drink
Then I stopped worrying about what you think
I put my face on the TV acting like a Jackass
You Kurt Russell, huh, you in my backdraft
I'm glad you followed in my steps with that act
Because not only did you bite me
But now noone knows who's wackest

My bum is on ya lips
My bum is on ya lips
And if you don't like it, I think I'll take a shit
My bum is on ya lips
My bum is on ya lips
And if you don't like it, you can suck my dick
(hah)