​my blood, part 2

[Verse 1: Ham Sandwich]
I need to get this locked down
Get this locked down
I ain't been eating, I lost ten pounds
Russian roulette, I load ten rounds
Swallow ten shots, then make no sound
Lost in my soul, I can't be found
Deep as a puddle and I still drown
Everything I need and I still frown
I could be on Jupiter, but still earthbound
My spirit wasn't built for the void
My heart wasn't built to be played like a toy
My doesn't feel like it's there to be peeled and concealed
But I'm always the third wheel
And I'm sick of just complaining to myself
Sick of all the skeletons I'm just leaving on the shelf
Sick of my ineptitude, hate that I'm in debt to you
Sick of knowing you'll get what you want and I'll be dead to you
Sick of my aversion to confront you in the open
Sick of my aversion to get comfort when I'm coping
Sick of my ability to lie about my pain
Sick of my affinity for walking in the rain
I don't have a therapist, all I have is music
When I make a song it isn't just that it's amusing
And this facade is an illusion
But I don't wanna lose it
I'm scared to talk to my heart
I ain't never try before so I don't know where to start
It ain't never broke, but it's falling apart
The neglect is an abuse but it's leaving a mark
I take a walk in the park
Find a dead tree, write my name in the bark
See if it lasts through the winter
New day, same shit, same sinner

[Hook: Ham Sandwich]
You got me fucked up
You got me fucked up
I need to sit down, you make me stand up
I need to sit down, you make me stand up
For my blood, my pride, my family, my mind
My blood, my pride, my family, my mind
You got me fucked up
You got me fucked up
I need to sit down, you make me stand up
I need to sit down, you make me stand up
For my blood, my pride, my family, my mind