My Best Friend’s a Skeleton

[GEORGE]
I met him on a rainy day
I was lost and wand'rin' around
I heard him comin' from miles away
'Cause his bones make a ruckus
When they hit the ground

He said

[JEREMY, spoken]
Hi!

[GEORGE, (JEREMY, spoken)]
That set the pace
And we talked and talked some more (You talked.)
Even though he had no face (Huh?)
It didn't matter 'cause we had a rapport

My best friend's a skeleton
He's a really stand-up guy
My best friend's a skeleton
We'll be friends 'til the day that we die!

[JEREMY, spoken]
That's nice, you say I'm a stand-up guy -

[GEORGE, spoken]
Why?

[JEREMY, spoken]
- even though though I have terrible scoliosis

[GEORGE, spoken]
Oh, c'mon, don't be so hard on yourself. It's not that bad. I mean, you're a great dancer

[JEREMY, spoken]
I've been stretching!

[GEORGE, spoken]
I can see that. Have you been taking dance classes?

[JEREMY, spoken]
I've taken some tap because... boy, do my feet really sing on the floor

[GEORGE, spoken]
Oh...

[GEORGE, (JEREMY)]
We pick up chicks, we go to bars
And we down our shots in a cinch (*whoosh noise*)
We go to cemetaries
To watch the stars
And we talk about the films
Of David Lynch

[JEREMY, spoken]
I love him

[GEORGE, (JEREMY, spoken)]
We are of a kindred ilk
So we very rarely fight (Haha!)
I only get grouchy
When he steals my milk (Uh-oh...)
Or when it gets cold
In the graveyard at night

[JEREMY]
Oh, it's so bone-chilling
In the graveyard at night!

[GEORGE, spoken]
Alright!

[GEORGE]
My best friend's

[BOTH]
A skeleton

[JEREMY, spoken]
Yes!

[GEORGE (JEREMY, spoken)]
And his humor's really dry (Knock, knock!)
My best friend's a skeleton
We'll be friends 'til the day that we die!

[JEREMY, spoken]
How do you make a skeleton laugh?

[GEORGE, spoken]
Oh, I know this

[JEREMY, spoken]
You tickle his funny bone! Heehee!

[GEORGE, spoken]
I was about to say that

[JEREMY, spoken]
C'mon, do it! Do it! Touch it!

[GEORGE, spoken]
Okay, alright

[JEREMY, spoken]
Oh, you are so shy

[GEORGE]
People think it makes no sense
But we know that it's fine
When life gets tough, or too intense
I know he's got my back!

[JEREMY]
And he's got mine!

[GEORGE, (JEREMY, spoken)]
And even if there comes a time
When my buddy isn't there (Why would you say that?)
He'll always be inside of me (*Laughing*)
So I'll never

[BOTH]
Despair!

My best friend's a skeleton
He hugs me when I cry
My best friend's a skeleton
We'll be friends 'til the day we die!

My best friend's a skeleton
He's/I'm a really stand-up guy
My best friend's a skeleton
And now you know the reasons why

We'll be friends 'til the day that we die!
'Til the day that we shrivel up and die!

[JEREMY, spoken]
George, I love it that you have skin!

[GEORGE, spoken]
I love you, you old bag of bones!