Mushrooms On My Ass

Well everybody knows
That hardcore's out of vogue
And punk is white bread getting staler every day
So I got myself a plan
Ditched my leather and my band
And I started farming mushrooms off of my prostate

I scrape mushrooms off my ass
Then I sell them to your dad
Funny little fungi steppes
Growing off my back breasts
I scrape them off
He eats them up
We laugh at all the funny things he says

Yeah he acts a little strange
Dreams of ethereal plains
As he prances round his toolbench in a stupefied state
And his wife she never asks
Says he's better in the sack
So he doesn't have to hide the stench when he comes home late

Oh the mushrooms on my ass
They bring pleasure to your dad
The toadstool ridges by my crack
Get slinged into his open hatch
He can't stop laughing at the pack
Of little creatures dancing on TV

TV!

Oh joy
To Marky's Daddy boy
I enjoy the sensation of freedom
Of butt mushrooms

It was really quite a sight
When your daddy peaked that night
He was screaming bloody murder over something by Queen
I've heard that what they say
Is my asshole was to blame
But by all accounts I'd washed and not a speck could be seen

But the mushrooms on my ass
Weren't kindest to your dad
They had lit his brain aflame
And he never was the same

Ahh
Life is truly beautiful