Muffin Man

[Spoken Intro: Frank Zappa]
The Muffin Man is seated at the table
In the laboratory of the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen...
Reaching for an oversized chrome spoon
He gathers an intimate quantity of dried muffin remnants!
And, brushing his scapular aside
Proceeds to dump these inside of his shirt
He turns to us and speaks:
"Some people like cupcakes better. I, for one care less for them!"
Arrogantly twisting the sterile canvas snoot
Of a fully charged icing-anointment utensil
He poots forth a quarter-ounce green rosette
Near- ha, ha
Let's try that again-
He poots forth a quarter-ounce green rosette
Near the summit of a dense-but-radiant muffin
Of his own design
Later he says:
"Some people, some people like cupcakes exclusively
While I myself I say there is naught
Nor ought there be nothing so exalted
On the face of God's grey earth
As that Prince of foods... the Muffin!"

[Verse 1: Frank Zappa]
Girl, you thought he was a man
But he was a muffin
He hung around till you found
That he didn't know nuthin'

[Verse 2: Frank Zappa]
Girl, you thought he was a man
But he only was a-puffin'
No cries is heard in the night
As a result of him stuffin'

[Instrumental Break 01:51-04:15]
[Guitar Solo]

[Verse 3: Captain Beefheart]
Girl, you thought he was a man
But he was a muffin
No cries is heard in the night
As a result of him stuffin'

[Spoken Outro: Frank Zappa]
Bruce Fowler on trombone
Napoleon Murphy Brock on tenor sax and lead vocals
Terry Bozzio on drums
Tom Fowler on bass
Denny Walley on slide
George Duke on keyboards
Captain Beefheart on vocals and soprano sax and madness
Thank you very much for coming to the concert tonight
Hope you enjoyed it. Goodnight Austin, Texas, wherever you are!

[Instrumental Outro]
[Guitar Solo]