Mr. Richland’s Favorite Song

[Verse 1]
When he was young, he sang in the band
And the fans all looked the same
And the fans he had were younger than he
And they loved to scream his name
They'd leave at the end of the third show
Go home to talk of the fun
"Well isn't it nice," the parents would say
"Well isn't nice you've got someone?
Someone to idolize, he must look twice his size
I think it's great you're going through a phase
And I'm awfully glad it'll all be over
In a couple of days"

[Verse 2]
Well, the calendar changed and the pages fell off
But the singer remained the same
And he never grew tired of singing his song
And his fans still called his name
They'd leave at the end of the second show
Go home to talk of the fun
For most of the fans were married by then
So they had to be in by one
"I'm awfully glad," the husbands would say
"I'm awfully glad you got someone
Someone I realize, who used to look twice his size
I think it's great you still remember his name
And I'll bet if he knew you were there for the show
He'd be awfully glad you came"

[Verse 3]
"The time has come," the Walrus said
"To speak of other things
Like a fallen star who works in a bar
Where yesterday is king
The fans will stay for an hour or so
They still remember his fame
But the time has come," the Walrus said
"To call your fans by name"