Mr Booze

(chorus) [the drunks] The rest are solos

Sung:
Mister Booze (Mister Booze), Mister Booze
Mister B, Double O, Z E{sustain "E"}: (that sure spells booze)
You will wind up wearing tattered shoes if you mess with Mister Booze
(Don't mess with Mister Booze, don't mess with Mister Booze.)
Don't mess with B, Double O, Z, E
If you've been so stiff you thought you died
You'll feel better once you testify
(testify [oh, yeah], testify [oh, yeah], testify)

Spoken:
[I want to testify, I want to testify]
Well, then cleanse yourself, my child, cleanse yourself. Brothers and sisters, I happen to know this poor unfortunate soul and the fight she is waging against sin. That old devil Booze has changed her into the unsightly person you see before you. Give us your testimony, my child
[Well, it all began with Danny.] (Yeah?)
[He said drink helped him stay alive.] (Yeah? [Yeah.])
[Do you know how old he was when he died?] (No)
[He was twenty-five.] (No. [No.])
[That's why I gotta come clean.] (why?)
[Because I'm already seventeen.]

Sung:
Who's to blame? (Who's to blame?)
What his name? (We know his name, his name is.)
Mister Booze, Mister Booze
Mister B, double O, Z, E: Don't ever choose. (No matter what)
Any game you play with him, you lose, so don't mess with Mister Booze
If your head feels like it's ten-foot wide
You'll feel better once you testify
(testify, testify [oh, yeah], testify [oh, yeah])

Spoken:
[I want to testify, You gotta let me - A! - testify!]
Well, come forward, dear brother, come forward. You see here, ladies and gentlemen, a man who just last year was the United States Olympic heavyweight wrestling champion; and here he is, just a shadow of his former self, wasted in health, ravaged by sin. Oh give us your testimony, dear brother
[I was cruel. I was mean!] (He was mean!)
[I was a no-gooder, pickpocket!] (a no-good pickpocket)
[And then, sin got me in its clutches now] Oh, and gin, that's for sure
[Sin and Gin got me in and that's why I needs forgiving!] (Why?)
['Cause my hands shake so much now, I can't even make a living.] Get out!

Sung:
That's a shame. (what a shame)
Who's to blame? (Who's to blame? His name is)
Mister Booze, Mister Booze
Mister B, Double O, Z, E: You must refuse
You will make obituary news if you mess with Mister Booze
If you've been so stiff you thought you died
You'll feel better when you testify
(testify, testify, testify)

Spoken:
[I wanna testify!]
Ah but you don't have to
[Oh but I wanna.]
But you don't have to
(one person: Oh let him testify.)
Okay, then put down that demijohn and come up forward here and let us lead you on the path of righteousness. Not long ago, brothers and sisters, this helpless soul was the foremost brain surgeon in this grand and glorious country. Success was smiling down upon him. Now go ahead and tell us your story. Don't be shy
....
[I use spirits for medicinal purposes only] (Yeah)
[I manufacture it for medicinal purposes only.] (yeah?)
[And then I started drinking what I manufactured till I drank myself out of a hell of a business for medicinal purposes only.] (That's right)
Alcohol makes a big man small and can lead to life of crime. (Yeah!)
Demon rum makes a gent a bum, and you cash in before your time. (Yeah!)
Bootleg gin puts you in a spin till you don't even know your name. (Yeah!)
You're a public disgrace, flat on your face, and there's only one guy to blame:

Sung:
Oh, Mister Booze, Mister Booze (B, Double O, Z, E; Double O, Z, E) Mister B, Double O, Z, E: Don't ever choose. (B, Double O, Z; B, Double O, Z; B, Double O, Z, E)
(It's up to you!) 'Cause you'll wind up wearing tattered shoes if you mess with Mister Booze
(Don't mess with Mister Booze.) Oh Mister Booze
(Don't mess with Mister Booze.) Oh Mister Booze
(Don't mess with Mr. Boo{sustain double o}ze.) Don't mess with B, double O. Z, E, cause that spells booze
And you're gonna lose with Mister Booze. [Peace be with ya, brother!] (Oh Yeah)
Don't mess around with Mister Booze
(Don't mess with Mister Booze.) Oh, yeah!
(Don't mess with Mister Booze.) Hear what he say now!
Don't mess with
Mi---
Ster---
Boo{sustain double o again}ze!
(Oh Mister Booze! Oh Mister-
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-
A-ah, Oh Mister Booze!
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-{improvise from here on out})