Mr. Bear vs. Candle Cove

[Intro: Announcer]
Rap battle
Mr. Bear (1999)
Versus
Candle Cove

[Prologue: Pirate Percy (Shimario), Janice (GarbageGothic), Laughingstock (GamingPlush64)]
Look, there's a cave ahead
Um, but I don't have the heart to go
Percy, you need to explore
It's Mr. Bear's Party Cove
D-do I have to?
Yes!
Go inside, go inside, go inside

[Verse 1: Mr. Bear (Swizkii)]
Welcome to the cellar, kids!
Today we'll be braving a show about pirates and skeletons
I'll pull up my rocking chair, and you can have a seat, too
So all of Caledon can see exactly how I beat you
Kids, he's got a tooth buddy, but he can't harm me
You should know by now that us grizzly bears got sharp teeth
All ages can enjoy my show, we're nowhere near cove
I'm all the way at twenty-one, you're stuck on channel zero
You show a bunch of rusty puppets, nobody's diggin' it
I bring a soup and spoon ready, the kids are digging in
I know you want to stay, but I sadly am declining
'Cause I don't see a pirate anywhere on the invite list

[Verse 2: Pirate Percy (Shimario)]
What happened to my crew? W-w-where'd they venture off?
A-anybody out there? Janice? Laughingstock?
Listen, you did great, but my time's better not wasted
In the big brown bear's scary and decrepit basement (Yeah)
I think you think you're better, but it's a safe bet
Th-th-that channel surfing doesn't mean you're on my wavelength
I mean, with rabbit ear antennas? I thought it's expected
Y-you'd know your frequencies tend to get poor reception
Th-the kids turned off Pokemon's show and w-w-went to yours
Switching "Gotta catch 'em all" with t— "To catch a predator"
Now— now don't get angry, I don't want anyone getting hurt
But, uh, ask one of your captive kids to write a better verse

[Verse 3: Mr. Bear (Swizkii), Pirate Percy (Shimario)]
That's very nice, Patty? But, I think you need to pack your bags
Mr. Bear's cellar doesn't have room in it for scallywags
Well if I wait, oh god oh god, that's horrid
You're not playing hide and seek, you're just hiding child corpses
Maybe the mask is muffling me, so if I'm not clear
Get the fuck out. You don't belong here
Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh
Shut the fuck... up!
Me? Mad? Oh, it's just late in the day
I'm still full of joy and ecstasy, make no mistake
Now, let's show Caledon 21 the fun games that we play
Trash must be cleansed, and you'll be who I start with
Story, production, verses, all garbage
You're dribbling static, come listen to my voice
I'm music to the ears, and all you are is white noise
This ditch right here will make sure that Satan's satisfied
And I'm sure all of your fans will make for the greatest sacrifice
Feel your plastic skin melt away
Your cove is in the faraway land, Hell awaits

[Verse 4: Skin Taker (Rabi)]
Best turn back now, you wayward lost soul
'Lest jolly Mr. Rogers be turned to crossbones
All those who met my glass jaw have abandoned hope
This is your final stop welcome to candle cove
Gave lads some orange juice so they wouldn't feel thirsty
Hahaha what? So the dead kids don't have scurvy?
That billowing pit ain't a sighting to behold
You misheard me, I said fire in the hole
I'll grind your hide very well, until you're made to pedo pelt
And jones will find ye' severed flesh deep down in the depths of Hell
Go inside, go inside
Go inside, go inside
Hahahahahahahahahaha

[Verse 4: Happy Appy (Fightmarker)]
Not exactly someone you'd want to switch the TV to
But remember kids, I will always be renewed
When it comes to slashing fruits, I'm rabid, loose, I don't play
I'm less alike with apple juice, I'm more alike with oj
A murderistic motherfuck, cutting through this fucking bum
Tell fozzy bear his set's wrapped, no hundred fuzzy hugs
And watch the cutlery go through his jugular and rupture guts
'Til his insides look like bubblegum
Want my skin? Fine, take it, I'm a whore for gore
Got a heart rotting more than a corpse, I must be horrorcore
Zipped in the back, getting high from your squeals
'Cause like the stick in my ass, I like how it feels
And I've prepared this shit to leave the forensics sick
Nine-eleven year old's with 9/11 terrorists
Oh, now the fucking parent's pissed, try to call their therapist
To find they were up there with them, that is so hilarious
Took him to my basement, taxidermy, I'm about it
Thread the suit, thread the skin, make a new puppet out him
And the kids will never care this little apple had killed 'em
'Cause lost episodes going missing is just natural, children

[Outro: Announcer]
Who won?
Who's next?
I decide
Rap— (Muffled gibberish)
Rap battle