Montage: This Is The Way... / Miss Asp’s Song I / Mother Mother

[SUSANNAH]
She said that I was weirdo in the good way
Which I think is delinquent for "you're charismatic smart and sweet"
How to respond, oh, what’s the thing I should say?
I should say something clever
But instead I just say

[SUSANNAH, spoken]
Neat

[SUSANNAH]
And now my journey here will begin
How hard could it be to fit in?

[JUDITH]
This is the way we smoke our cigarettes

[YA-YA]
This is who we talk shit about in gym class

[RAT]
This is the way we pay outstanding debts

[JUDITH, YA-YA, RAT, DOROTHY, KITTY, SHEILA]
Cuz we're badass, cuz we're badass (woo!)

This is the way we smoke our cigarettes
This is who we talk shit about in gym class
This is the way we pay outstanding debts
Cuz we’re badass, cuz we're badass

[MISS ASP, spoken]
Mr. Rusk, as you know I am deeply honored that such an esteemed beacon of journalistic integrity would do a profile on my work at the reformatory. What do you mean the profile is actually about integration in the juvie hall system?! I don't want it to be about integration, I want it to be about me! Oh--M-Mr. Rusk, there will still be a photograph included with the? Oh, oh! Excellent, excellent!

/

[MISS ASP]
A picture that hangs on a plaid office wall
A family with baby dolls, apples and all
It's the life that I'd always imagined I'd live
Before I made mistakes that no man could forgive

But it turns out my tragedies weren't for naught
My one true calling was not what I thought
My duty is saving the next generations
So, they would not suffer their own degradations

And a wife in a picture, sublime and pristine
Or a photo of me in a Life magazine
These are the images people admire
American values that guide and inspire

I serve a purpose
And soon all shall see

(spoken)
Mister Rusk, yes, we'll see you next Sunday at three

[GIRLS GROUP I, MISS ASP]
This is the way we smoke our cigarettes / Aah!
This is who we talk shit about in gym class / Aah!

[GIRLS GROUP II, MISS ASP]
This is the way we repurpose a shot glass / Aah!
This is the way we hide our contraband (hide our contraband) / Aah!
Cuz we’re badass

[YA-YA]
Cuz we’re badas-(spoken) oh I said it one too many times didn't I?

/

[SUSANNAH]
He’s got no future
But he's got a past
His present is shaky as his cheap motorcycle
Which isn't built to last

Mother mother, I'ma love that boy
There’s no other, bring me that much joy
I ain't a-listenin' to what you say
I'm gonna luvah-luvah-luv, luvah-luv-luv-luv
That boy

Anyway-hey-ay, sha-boop, sha-boop, sha-boop sha-boop
Anyway-hey-ay, sha-boop, sha-boop, sha-boop sha-boop boop--

[SHEILA, spoken]
Private concert!

[SUSANNAH, spoken]
Uhh--uh, ju-just writing

[SHEILA, spoken]
I don't know about the "hey hey"s and "sha-boop sha-boop"s. (laughs)

[SUSANNAH, spoken]
Nonsense syllables are my favorite part. You're supposed to think of them as a foreign language or speaking in code. She can't say the words she really wants to, so she's just gotta say "hey-ey-ey."

[DOROTHY, KITTY, JUDITH, RAT, and YA-YA murmur to each other]

[JUDITH, spoken]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, the Gruesome Twosome. We interrupting something ladies?

[DOROTHY, KITTY, RAT, and YA-YA act scandalized]

[JUDITH, spoken]
Secret meeting commence

[INMATES, spoken]
Huh!

[JUDITH, spoken]
Tomorrow night. Little Miss Asp is gonna be off the premises, and we are gonna party!

[DOROTHY, KITTY, RAT, SHEILA, SUSANNAH, and YA-YA cheer]

[JUDITH, spoken]
We gotta incapacitate Buzz. Dorothy, flirt. Kitty, distract

[DOROTHY, spoken]
I'll cozy up to Buzz and get him to share a soda pop with me. And then--

[KITTY, spoken]
--And then you slip some castor oil into his drink while I distract him in a most glamorously flirtatious way!

[DOROTHY, spoken]
I'm the Flirt and you're just the Distraction

[KITTY, spoken]
Don't put me in a box, Dorothy!

[JUDITH, spoken]
Then, Rat, you bust into the confiscated booze case in the office!

[RAT, spoken]
Easy peasy lemon squeezy!

[JUDITH, spoken]
Ha, let's tear ass!

[INMATES]
Na na na na na na na na na na
La la la la la la la la la la la la
Ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra
Cuz we're badass

[INMATES cheer]

[INMATES]
Cuz we're badass, cuz we're badass
Cuz we're badass, cuz we're badass