Monsters

I never was scared of monsters
Maybe one or two times after I'd watch a scary movie and get freaked out all over again over imaginary things
But I realized a while ago that these ones aren't as imaginary as I hoped they'd be

Can you hear it?
The drone that's in my head, there's voices buzzing around my thoughts like flies swarm people when they're dead
All I am is nothing to my mind it reminds me everyday when these snide voices scream so fucking loud my patience fades away
It's an overdrive of anger and the thoughts that always lie until I hide in my room and keep wishing I'd die
'Cause when I look in the mirror I try to see if it's the monsters coming out or if it's me

And what do I do when the world ceases turning and I end up falling to the floor?
Panicked breaths but no one's listening cause my pride is in the way and I don't want to ask for help no more
I got some smoke in my mirrors, it flows from my head
I feel the wave lapping softly as my heart fills with dread
The room is filling with water and my captor's lost the key
Accept the fact that I'm drowning and I'll never fucking leave

Who's watching me?
There's no one in the shadows, even when my brain convinces me there is
Is someone watching?
No they really fucking aren't, but it's never quite so easy to resist
If words could change this I'd be fine
If I could just let it all go my brain would finally be mine
But it belongs to the creatures in my soul
They make my energy and motivation null

And the worst part of all of this has got to be
That nobody is coming to save this wretched life, it's all on me
It's been too many years and the haunting feelings from my childhood stay
And I can't escape the voices, please God there has to be some kind of way

Run
The monsters, they'll come for you
Run fast before you become prey too