Monkey in the Mango Tree

Three monkeys in the mango tree
Were indulging in philosophy
And as I walked by the mango tree
One of them addressed himself to me:

"Hey, man, is it true what they say?
Hey, man, is it true that today
They claim that my brothers and me
Are the predecessors of humanity?

Hey, man, why you give us bad name?
Hey, man, it's a blight and a shame
To claim this uncivilized cuss
Could have been descended from the likes of us

How can you have the brazen face
To scandalize our noble race?
Don't identify yourself with me,"
Said the monkey in the mango tree...

"Hey, man, why you give us bad name?
Hey, man, it's a blight and a shame
To claim, most un-biblically
That this chump could once have been a chimpanzee"

That's the monkey language!
The monkey very clever!
Which is to say, in his own way
Would a monkey ever

Analyze his psyche, amortize his soul
Tranquilize his frontal lobes with al-co-houl
Televise his follies and the life he lives
Eulogize his gargles and his laxatives

Simonize his teeth, lanolize his hands
Hormonize his chromosomes with monkey glands
Mechanize the Greeks, modernize the Turks
And then with one little atom, poof, atomize the works?

"Hey, man, do you call it fair play?
Hey, man, is it brilliant to say
That the monkey and his uncles and his cousins and his aunts
Are the parents of such foolishment and de-ca-dance?
Don't identify yourself with me"
Said the monkey in the mango tree