Modern Marriage

[Verse 1]
I promise not to rip you off
And I promise not to sell you out
I will never smoke all your stash if I happen to find it whilst tidying up -- which, let's face it, isn't likely
Well, we would always leave you at least a joint's worth, anyway
And I will never eat the last bit of cereal, and then put the empty packet back, hoping you won't notice, or if I do, I'll pay for the next lot, I promise
'Cos I know that really gets on your nerves
And I will never sleep with any of your friends - well, not your best friends

[Chorus]
I don't know just what I'm meant to do
I don't want to make it wrong for you
How can we escape what's happened to
All those others who've gone before us two?
Baby, we have lived together
Now we'll do it all forever
Hold my hand, don't ever let it go
Close your eyes, hold tight, and here we go

[Verse 2]
And how do we avoid being like all those other cheese-masters?
Demonstrating the facilities of their new car and the trouser press
From hunter-gatherer to washer-dryer is a long, strange trip
And what if our kids turn into pudgy blobs, wearing Union Jack underpants, addicted to coffee whitener?
Bloated caricatures of something vaguely recognisable as a human being
A human being that you once loved

[Chorus]
I don't know just what I'm meant to do
I don't want to make it wrong for you
How can we escape what's happened to
All those others who've gone before us two?
Baby, we have lived together
Now we'll do it all forever
Hold my hand, don't ever let it go
Close your eyes, hold tight, and here we go

[Bridge]
So this is it:
We're walking down the aisle
The dawning of a new era
Is this the start of a new airbrushed Disney-life
Or some 36-part depressing-as-hell Northern drama to be repeated every night for the rest of our lives?
Oh and now I'm frightened
Oh yeah, I'm shitting Barratt houses here
Is this the right thing?
And then suddenly I'm turning to look at your face and I'm saying:
"I do", "I do", "I do"

[Chorus]
I don't know just what I'm meant to do
I don't want to make it wrong for you
How can we escape what's happened to
All those others who've gone before us two?
Baby, we have lived together
Now we'll do it all forever
Hold my hand, don't ever let it go
Close your eyes, hold tight, and here we go

[Outro]
I do