Modern Day Mugging

[Intro]
Viktor Vaughn
You are accused of --
(ahahahahah)
Fool! Did you really think Viktor Vaughn could be captured so easily?
We have a suspect
We have a witness
But we have no Vik see if you can authorize overtime

[Verse]
He used to get straight A's
Nowadays, "Get way paid" is the pet phrase
Set the stage, preferably night-times
Daylight reserved for research and writin' rhymes
Things is harder than the tarnish on the garnets
In his gold teeth to eat, goshdarn it, V hold heat
Goin' all out to the fullest, all dipped
Chrome four-fiddith, no bullets no clip
Black electric tape over the hole in the handle
If you hold it right and hit 'em with it they can't tell
But still, you gotta be careful
Dudes be so scared, they cop pleas by the ear-full
V' personal fave is "Please don't kill me"
Empty out your pockets and he probably won't, willy
But if you don't hurry up and shut up, I'll kill you
Now lay down and count to a hundred loud, will you?
When the nickel gleam like it's greased up
Thugs turn to icicles, hard rocks freezed up
This could all be a distraction just to buy time to blast you
So keep something to cut in case you has to
If he was on the Island, he'd probably rob The Millionaire
And be known for wildin' out like Bob Dylan's hair
These clever war tips
You won't get from cats who never wore skips
Now, let's get down to brass tacks
Follow procedure and count stacks like NASDAQ
*snoring* Don't be caught snoozin'
In the early morning hours from a long night of boozing
Stick 'em up, chump, you know what this is
Do the right thing, you might live to see your kids
All he said was, "C'mon, don't shoot!"
So shook, I think he shit his Sean John suit
Why you starin'? (Huh?) Run your chain like an errand
And your girl's earrings (Oh shit), and what you wearin'
Survival tactics for when things get too gritty
He feels it's his duty to the people of the city
Just so long as nobody get hurt
It keep your average civilian on point and alert
And don't forget to check her D-cup
Now I bust how he got this duck for his re-up
Then he's back on the bricks, smokin' indo'
Never let a handy fiend fix your broken window
Oh, wanna hate the witty lurker?
Who follow y'all on the late, dressed like a city worker
OK, miss, come up off that bracelet
Just got your hair did, don't make me waste it
So, go to Hades, get the Devil for his stash
But no old ladies unless you're sure they carry mad cash
Like the one from the liquor store
He watched her for weeks now, ready for the quick score
Before he told her, "Whore, get on the floor"
She pulled out and let off like Quick Draw McGraw (Oh, shit!)
Damn yo, he lucky, she barely nicked the camo
He would've let her have it if he had the ammo
It's all in good fun, true, moral of the story son duke:
Senior citizens'll bust they guns too!