Missing You

I’ve always been told that you never really know
What you got ‘til it's gone and hit a new low
Thoughts beginning to flow embedded in pain, so
I hit the bong and try to get away by being stoned
I´m sitting on my own, all alone in my living room
Puffing on a bud of homegrown ‘cause I’m missing you
And I know that it's the shit that I usually do
But now I feel like Freddy Kruger’s ripping my soul into two
I wait for the blow to defuse and I make it by going to booze
Calming me down but making me want to call you
And stall you, don’t make any mistakes whether we are taking a break or not
You shouldn’t be fucking with any other dudes
I can see you’ve been confused about who you’re willing to lose
In all this mist of mischief calling upon the blues
I want an answer so I ask you what you want to do
But regret it when you pack a bag and fly to Belarus
How could I not be the guy that you decide to choose?
When I provided everything for us and I tried to do
All that you wanted me to, only to fall like a fool
Living in a sentimental prison as I’m missing you

I’m feeling the definition of need in Moscow
My heart bleeds on repeat in Moscow
I’m lying on my knees in the streets of Moscow
So watch out, all I can think of being is hostile
All you tend to meet in me is an enemy
If I don’t do the therapy I’ll explode as the alarm sounds
“Reality” it's not my imaginary farm now
No woman of my dreams cooking dinner out in the barn house
She’s gone now, flying away to another man
No emotional connection, the message I understand
But the thing is that I can’t get her out of my future plans
I gotta find a way to get her back or I’ll be damned
I’m living in this quick-sand apocalyptic still-stance
This’ the beginning of me living on critical land
No direction, I’m crippled without my Marianne
Late June, I was sure that I would be a married man

I try to find myself, I’m trying to rise up on my feet
I try to get out of this hell as I admit to defeat
I try to realize how other people manage to beat
The unforgiving agony whenever lovers retreat
I cry at night, lie curled up under the sheets
Even though I know it ain’t the code of the street
I’m simply trying to express how I experience the grief
Incomplete, not awake but I’m barely getting to sleep
Try to reach the next step and get into the main goal
But find that everything seems to be wrong in my soul
The blood’s flowing beginning to go cold in a motion of no hope
Like the broken in all folk who are hoping they all choke
In an ocean of raw smoke that is poison like charcoal
That is stuck into your throat for all eternity
Murdering all the certainty the bourbon is murdering me
Absurdity is lurking in the darkness disturbing the free
Rock bottom at the bottomless pit of the bottle
Full throttle, Volga River never to see a tomorrow
It’s hard to swallow reality when you’re feeling hollow
Following the shadow of yourself in the valley of sorrow
I see a light through the clouds in the sky
And suddenly I realize that I was willing to die
I’m paralyzed yet I wake up as I dry my eyes
Still cry ‘til I see you lay right by my side