Mini-Correct

[Paul Heaton]
They say always use a condom
I say always use a whip
They say be careful where you come at night
I just shoot straight from the hip
When it comes to love's great fountain
I won't just take a sip
I'll swallow and I'll gulp
Until the fountain makes me sick

[Jacqui Abbott]
So it's me left with the baby and disease

[Paul Heaton]
You can't say you didn't want it on your hands and on your knees

[Jacqui Abbott]
You made me feel so special

[Paul Heaton]
Well you were especially good
I'm sorry that you misunderstood

These neatly folded corduroys hide rubber underneath
But the only rubber you have worn is that useless rubber sheath
I won't have what I've got for you stolen by no thief
'Cause the safest sex I've ever had was hanging from a tree

[Jacqui Abbott]
So you've left me for another pretty face

[Paul Heaton]
That's not true, I left you for one half the human race

[Jacqui Abbott]
Now I'm by myself

[Paul Heaton]
A woman who knows her place
It's not so much the chase, it's the race

They say treat her like a lady and she'll treat you like her jewels
They say cruel to be kind, I just say cruel to be cruel
They say only marry once, I say only marry fools
They wouldn't've made the cane if you weren't meant to break the rules

[Jacqui Abbott]
Have you told them that you'll hurt them then be gone?

[Paul Heaton]
I've told them that I'll hurt them if that really turns them on

[Jacqui Abbott]
You left a bitter scar

[Paul Heaton]
I tied those ropes too tight
I'll tie them loose for you tonight, tonight...

[Outro - Heaton]
When I told you that I loved you
I meant mini-correct
When I said I'd never leave you
I meant mini-correct
A ring around your finger, a chain around your neck
That was major correct