Mind States

[Intro]
Yo, yeah
Yeah, look, look

[Verse]
The first time I grabbed a microphone, I spent the night alone
Not thinking about my problems, it's ominous when the light is on
Definitely never thought about crowds
Never dreamt about as well, whole body trapped in the clouds
Don't get me wrong though, feels good to be loved
But when I'm gone, just a John Doe, I wonder if stuff
Would really matter, if anything, add a bowl to pennies in
Maybe I'll feel be satisfied with this moment I'm sitting in
Or maybe I don't wanna be a rapper
I just use it to find the person I'm after
Write a thousand more verses in search of a better earth
If it's the last thing I'll do, I'll find something that's close to certain
Past the surface, nothing leading to purpose
Pull back the curtains till all of it's seeming worthless
Yeah, but who am I though
If writing's in the blood, I find this life to be a typo
This kinda night there are maybe things that you might know
But no matter where you start, never figure out where you might go
This song is not a lesson or attempt to spit a tight flow
Just a [?] stream of consciousness that might grow
It's a reflections of a theme that seem to bring me around
I know I always feel the same, but you should see me now
I'm looking towards summer, haven't felt the heat
It's beaming down in too long
I wish that I could be me now and move on
But who I am is only rooted in the content
Of every fading moment that's made up of changing context
I am the curve connecting dots but never rested any
I am the signal that my nervous system had to send me
I am the ego that will love to spend this life pretending
That there was something more to me that could be worth defending
I now know I use this music as a crutch
But it hasn't really led to much luck
I have never kept in touch
You gotta stack up all the odds for it to ever be enough
Heh, yeah, too many memories lost
For me to prop it together, my thought is sending me off
The ends to enemy lines meant to be mentally primed
And yet essentially, I'm losing identity tentatively
Hold every and any message of energy I've gathered
At the moment, but [?]
But not enough to own it