Mind of My Own

It's four o' clock
The TV's on
My mind is shut off and my own thoughts are gone
I change the channel
I change my mind
I change my life I want to leave it all behind
Cause I don't have a mind of my own
I am influenced by everything I see
And I can't help it now
Everything in my life just thinks for me

Can't help this habit I'm in love with my disease
Worshiping my idle time a life I cannot seize
Trapped by depression and I sleep all day
But Xanax, Valium, Ativan makes it all ok
It's so much more than a cry for attention
No loving hands can soothe this ache
So much more than a war with the world
It's my own degradation it's my own self hate
I preach my pessimism
Right out loud to anyone who'll listen
I'm not afraid to be alive
I'm afraid to be alone

Late at night my monsters find me
From under the bed or right out of my past
All alone with nobody to talk to
Sanity gets put to the test
I close my eyes but I'm still haunted
Sometimes I get too twisted to sleep
As all my world crumbles all around me
Inspirations become admissions of defeat

Cause I don't have a mind of my own
I don't have a mind of my own
I don't have a mind of my own
Everything in my life just thinks for me