Milkshake

She wore an apron that was covered in gravy stains
She had a little green book, and she had varicose veins
I was tired, I was hungry, I was ready to snap
She dropped the steaming gumbo right in my lap

I was alone, otherwise, I would have trashed the place
But I was soothed by the Muzak and her beautiful face
The meat was chewy, and the chicken was bland
I'm not a pigeon, but she had me eating out of her hand

And I feel, and I feel, and I feel like a milkshake
I never ordered a slice of life à la mode
What I need is an earthquake
I could hide in a crack in the road
But I feel like a milkshake (Feel like a milkshake)

She started sponging my pants, it really tickled
She grabbed my plate and sank her teeth into my pickle
She sat down on my lap and started picking my teeth
She was as naked as a baby underneath

We were lost in a dream on a bed of fluffy rice
When I was grabbed by the chef, he had a grip like a vice
He had gold medallions and a hairy chest
I gave him back his wife, but he was still depressed

And I feel, and I feel, and I feel like a milkshake
I never ordered a slice of life à la mode
What I need is an earthquake
I could hide in a crack in the road
But I feel like a milkshake (Feel like a milkshake)

I tipped heavy so they wouldn't think the Yankees were mean
I saw a ground beef patty hit the coffee machine
I could tell this gorilla was the moody kind
I could have used a doggie bag, but I changed my mind

One of these hungry days when my luck runs dry
I'm gonna meet that Great Soda Jerk in the sky
He'll set the heavenly blender for that final frappé
Wipe the fudge from his beard, then he'll probably say

Do you feel, do you feel, do you feel like a milkshake?
At the end of your slice of life à la mode
We could split a devil's food cake
But the man with the van never showed
So we'll both have a milkshake (Both have a milkshake)